Difficult
by TheForbiddenAppleOfTwilight
Summary: *During New Moon* When Jake ignores Bella, she decides to go see what's up. When she gets there though, the unexpected happens. Bella doesn't know what she wants but maybe her opinion doesn't matter anymore. Bella had already been going through hell, why was more being thrown at her? Paul/Bella Bella/Jake
1. Chapter 1

BPOV

I ran up to Sam and his "gang" ready to rip each and every one of their heads off. "What did you do?" I shouted. "What did you do? What did you do to him?" I shoved against Sam's chest.

"Easy," Sam warned, looking from me to his little group.

"He didn't want this!" I yelled.

"What did we do? What did he do? What'd he tell you?" the boy next to Sam mocked with a cold edge to his voice.

"Both of you. Calm. Down," Sam growled.

I bit my lower lip, anger boiling through me. "He tells me nothing because he's scared of you!" I screamed.

The boys started to laugh, the one who had been yelling at me chuckled, even Sam cracked a smile. This sent me over the edge. My hand clenched into a tight fist and shot out at the guy in front of me. It connected with his cheek, stinging my hand, I knew I'd later have a bruise.

"Bella get back. Paul calm down. Now." This time I listened to Sam, scrambling backwards as the boy started to shake and growl. His body was a blur, his jaw clenched, and the vein in his neck looked like it was about to pop. His eyes held a chill to them I had never seen on anyone before. He started to scare me as he looked down at me for the first time, his eyes meeting mine. His body stopped shaking, dying down to a small quiver. His eyes melted, his fists unclenching, his breathing became normal once again. A relaxed and comforted expression crossed his face. His shoulders slouched a little.

"Paul?" the boy next to him asked, nudging his shoulder a little, confusion masking his face.

Paul shrugged him off, his stare still not leaving mine. "Bella," he whispered.

"Bella!" Another voice yelled from behind me.

I turned and saw Jacob, he jumped over the porch railing and ran to me, jumping across the stream that cut the yard in two. He was then by my side, pushing me behind him. Paul was then growling and shaking again, his teeth exposed to Jacob. I then saw Jake's frame shaking violently, snarls ripping from his chest. "Leave her alone," Jacob growled ferociously.

"Don't tell me what the hell to do, Black!" Paul roared back. The boy next to Paul then came around to me, pulling me away from both boys.

"Don't touch me," I practically yelled, frantic. My hair splayed across my face, my eyes wide as I watched the scene before me. These boys were insane. Fighting, growling, snarling, and violent tremors running through both of them. What happened next seemed to play out in slow motion. I was being pulled toward Billy's house, away from everyone, when a loud rip ran through the air. My head snapped back to the action, witnessing the last thought possible. Jacob was no longer standing there, in his place was a ten foot tall russet brown wolf. A gasp escaped my lips, shock freezing my body. Paul then transformed into a wolf as well, gray fur covering every inch of him. Paul was slightly shorter than Jacob, but was just as vicious.

"Bella? Bella are you alright?" a voice asked me.

My eyes peeled away from the creatures before me, turning back to the boy holding my arm. I then realized I was shaking violently, my knees about to buckle. I tried to muster the words I desperately wanted to say, but my body wouldn't function properly. Thoughts were spinning through my head, a million miles a second. Yes, that's what I had come over to say, but I thought that maybe I was wrong, maybe I was being paranoid. My suspicions were true. Jacob was a werewolf, and apparently so was Paul.

"Bella?" the boy asked again, panic starting to coat his voice.

"I-I," I stuttered. "You're wolves."

As the boy replied, another snarl rumbled followed by snaps and whines. My eyes shot over to the wolves, their bodies wrapped around each other, teeth sinking into flesh, blood dripping down their bodies. I then noticed another wolf stood with them, a taller one. This one was black and looked dangerous, vicious, even more so than the others. The sight of the three of them would give me worse nightmares than the ones I was already receiving.

SPOV

_Knock it off_, my alpha voice commanded. _Now!_

Both young wolves sighed and pushed away from each other, their teeth still bared, blood dripping from a few of their fangs.

_You're scaring, Bella. You need to change back and get your dumb asses over to Emily's. We all need to talk_, I continued.

Jacob and Sam then both looked over their shoulders at the pale brunette girl. _Sam?_ Paul asked, his voice pained. _I think-_

_You imprinted,_ I said stunned, reading his thoughts for the first time since I transformed.

Jacob's gums pulled back over his teeth once again, a snarl rippling from his chest._ I'll kill you!_

_Jacob. Calm down. Now. _I commanded. _Paul can't control it._

_This is bullshit! What the hell, Paul? You're supposed to be my brother, not-_

_Jacob, I said stop. That's enough! Both of you report to Emily's and we'll discuss this further. Understand?_

Both wolves nodded slightly, their paws digging deep into the dirt in aggravation.

_Good. Now get going._

Jake and Paul both turned on their heels, heading deep into the foliage. I glanced back at the few boys that lingered, trying to calm a frantic Bella. I nodded once to Embry, signaling for him to take over, and dashed off after Jacob and Paul.

BPOV

My hands pushed against the hot skin that reached for my arms, trying to stop me from running. Our limbs were entangled, both fighting for different reasons. "Don't touch me!" I shouted, pushing against him. "Get away from me!"

"Bella," Embry's voice cooed. "Bella, I need you to calm down."

"Calm down? Are you seriously trying to tell me to calm down?" I asked infuriated.

Embry put up his hands in surrender and took a step back. "We just want to take you to Emily's to talk."

"I'm not going anywhere with you. I'm going home."

"Come on, Bella. Sam will kill me if you don't come. All we want to do is talk about what happened."

I bit my lip suspiciously, but nodded. "Fine, but I'm driving the truck."

After twists and turns taken with shaky hands, our little group made it over to Emily's to find an awaiting Jacob, Paul, and Sam.

I slowly made my way over to the small cottage, following everyone inside.

"So, why did you want to see me earlier, Bells?" Jake asked, leaning against the counter. "Were you going to profess your undying love to me?" he asked sarcastically, taking a glance at Paul, he acted like nothing had just happened, like he hadn't just transformed into a ten foot wolf.

Paul growled slightly, taking a big bite of his apple.

"No," I replied, looking down at the floor. "I had figured it out."

The room was then completely silent, not even the sound of food being chewed was heard. "How?" Sam asked suddenly. "Did we give something away? Were we obvious?"

I shook my head and looked back at Jake. "You said to think about the legends. That's how I figured out what the...Cullens were."

Jake held my hand and gave me a slight squeeze telling me I was going to be okay. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath trying to clear my mind of Edward.

"I then remembered you said that you descended from wolves. That made me think of the wolves I saw. Which I soon connected back to you."

Sam nodded. "Nice loop hole, Jake," he said sarcastically.

"We won't hurt you like those leeches, though." Paul told me, his jaw clenched.

That hit a nerve. My legs buckled. My head filled with memories. Edward telling me he loved me. His smile. His eyes. _Him_.

Jake held on to me, making sure I didn't fall. "You sure you're ready for this?" Jake asked someone directly. I opened my eyes. Was he talking to me? Asking if I could handle the secret?8

"I'm older than you, Jake. I'll handle it." Paul replied. Jake's hold on me tightened.

"Just because you're a fucking year older than me, Paul, doesn't mean shit. It took a while for her to be able to just hear their name without her crying and screaming out. And you can't just 'handle' it, you have to take it day by day helping as much as you can but not so much that she gets scared. You have to watch the words you say, the music you play, the smiles you give her, the weather, her dreams, your dreams, the look in your eyes. You have to learn what every single sigh means, when she rolls her eyes, when she bites her lip, when she wears blue, when you talk about the forest. Those are just a handful of little things you have to be careful of or she'll fall apart again and it takes even fucking longer to bring her back to what she was at."

Tears blocked my vision. "Jake?"

"Watch your language in front of her," Paul warned.

Jake rolled his eyes at Paul, but knew his words had hurt me. They always did when it involved the Cullens. He then looked down at me, realizing I was still here in his arms. "I'm so sorry, Bella. Shh. I'm sorry. You're okay."

"Who were you talking to?"

"It's nothing, sweetheart. You'll find out soon enough."

I didn't argue with Jake. I didn't want to. So I let it go.

I nodded and buried my head in his chest.

"Jacob. I'll take her home. I think she's had enough freaky stuff for one day." Paul said. His voice sounded strained, pained.

Paul was taking me home? Why? No. I don't want Paul to take me anywhere. He was one of the people who changed my Jacob.

"No, I'd rather take myself," I told him.

"Bella, you shouldn't be driving. You're shaking more than I was and you're crying. Someone needs to drive you."

"Jake will. Won't you, Jake?" I begged him with my eyes.

"Jacob, Paul. Let me talk to you." Sam ordered.

Jake kissed the top of my head. "I'll be right back," both boys told me.

Each followed Sam a few feet into the trees.

PPOV

Jacob and I walked behind Sam into the trees, going more than just a few feet. Jacob glanced at me, his expression one of pain and anger. He must have hated me, and I didn't blame him. He had every right to. I was stealing the woman he loved more than life. I was taking away his world, and I couldn't even control it. Sam came to a direct halt in front of a big cedar.

"All right. Paul, you're going to let Jacob drive Bella home-"

"No way in hell." I replied.

"Don't interrupt." the alpha ordered. "Jake will take Bella home and officially break up with her. There won't be any secret phone calls, no private visits, no nothing. Do you understand, Jacob?"

Jake looked lost. He was coming apart at the seams.

"I can't do that." Jacob responded.

"You can and you will Jacob." Sam ordered. "Paul lives just for her. It might actually mentally kill him if he's not with her. And we do what's best for our brothers. Jacob this is an order not a request."

"Fine," Jacob replied. "I'll bow down to you like always, Sam."

He then ran away from us, going to hurt Bella.

"He'll do it, Paul. He has no choice."

"What about Bella? I won't be able to control myself if she breaks."

"You have to. You live for her. Remember that."


	2. Chapter 2

BPOV

"Come on, Bells. I'm gonna take you home," Jacob said this, his eyes distant, his voice was one with absolutely no emotion. It reminded me of when Edward...left.

I ran over to him, grabbing his hand, letting him lead me to my truck.

He opened the door for me and then got in himself. He started the truck and pulled out of the driveway.

The drive was silent. The only sound was our breathing. It scared me deeply, what was going on in his head?

We soon pulled up to Charlie's. "Wanna come in?" I asked.

He shook his head. "No."

The one word stabbed my heart. "Maybe another time?" I asked.

"Bella, there won't be another time."

It took me a few minutes to be able to respond. "What?" I choked.

He opened his door and came around to my side of the truck. He pulled my door open.

"We're done," he said never looking into my eyes.

"Jake-I-I thought you wanted me. I thought...I thought you were falling in love with me."

"Why did you think that?" he asked.

"Because...you take care of me, and the way you look at me..." I trailed off not wanting to embarrass myself any further. "Never mind."

"Well, maybe I was, but that doesn't matter. You don't love me."

"Jake," I sighed. I grabbed his hand, but he shook me off.

"Goodbye, Bella." He kissed my temple.

"Wait," I begged. I grabbed onto his shirt and wrapped my legs around his waist. I took a deep breath and then kissed him. It was slow and hesitant, but Jake then wrapped his arms around my back, one hand traveling up to my head, intertwining his fingers in my hair. "Jacob," I moaned.

"No," he replied. He pushed me away. "We can't do this! We can't be together, Bella."

"Why the hell not?" I demanded.

"Sam..."

"Screw them!"

"Bella, it's much more complicated than that. It was an order and you'll find out why soon enough."

"Why can't _you_ tell me?"

"Because it's not my place."

I groaned. "I want you, Jacob."

He looked up to the sky. "Goodbye, Bella. I love you."

With that he untangled himself from me and ran off. I stared after him, tears falling down my face, the heartache already starting. I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand and jumped out of my Chevy. I slowly made my way to my house, feeling like I was being watched. I turned around to look, but didn't find anyone. I shook off the feeling and unlocked the front door with shaking hands.

"Bells is that you?" Charlie asked as I walked in the house.

"Yeah," I choked, my voice cracking, throwing my keys on the side table. "What are you doing home?"

"It started to rain at the lake and I didn't want to leave you home by yourself, but I see you weren't home. Where were you?"

"Uh, I was at Jake's..."

A big smile crossed Charlie's face. "Oh good! You two made up! I knew you would."

Tears filled my eyes again. "Well, no, that's not what happened."

"Then what happened?" he asked, I could hear the squeak of the springs in his chair, as Charlie got up, making his way to me.

"He told me he didn't want to see me anymore. We're done."

Those weren't his exact words, but I couldn't exactly tell Charlie that Jacob was being forced to stay away from me because of Sam.

"I'm sorry, Bells. I'll talk to Billy and-"

"No. I don't want you to. Jake and I...we just, we don't get along anymore. He doesn't want me around."

Charlie was silent for a minute. "Bells, you're almost healed. I don't want to see you hurting again. Jake- Jacob helped you. He's good for you."

"I know, but it's time for me to move on. Jake doesn't want me and neither does...Edward, but it's time I stand on my own two feet again and not depend on anyone."

"Bella, I wasn't saying-"

"I'm going to bed," I told him. "Goodnight, Dad."

"Night, Bells." he sighed.

I climbed the stairs, closing my bedroom door behind me, and then crawling in bed. I let out the tears that I had been holding back. Jacob had almost sewn me back together but now he ripped the seam open again, leaving me to bleed like Edward had. I cried myself to sleep that night and the few after that. The depression hit me again. Hard. It was like I was literally dead. I went to school and went to bed. I even stopped making dinner for Charlie. I now picked it up at the diner. Steak and cobbler. I had stopped calling my mom, only emailing her when necessary. I didn't come out of my room unless I had school or took a shower. I quit my job, and started to take money from my college fund. Charlie stopped trying to talk to me, the only time he really saw me was when he came to wake me from a recent nightmare. Jake had kept good on his promise not once had he called or stopped by. It had been two months and I felt like I would never be myself again.

I sighed as I closed my algebra book and settled myself under the covers. The sun was still up which meant Charlie wouldn't be home for hours. I closed my eyes, hoping that sleep would find me. Before I drifted off there was a knock on the door downstairs. I got up and slowly went down. I peeked out of the curtain to only see tan skin. I immediately thought it was Jacob and yanked the door wide open only to find Paul. I sighed, tears filling my eyes.

"Hey, Bella," he greeted me quietly, giving me a small smile.

His short hair fell in his brown eyes, his lips a soft shade of red. His tan skin gleamed a little under the sun's rays. He had a thin sheet of sweat on his forehead, which for some reason drove me crazy.

"What is it?" I asked getting to the point, wishing I had stayed under the covers upstairs.

"Jake told me you two haven't been hanging out with each other lately and I thought you might like some company."

Jake's name was kept on a constant loop in my head. It made me dizzy. I clenched my eyes shut and held in the tears that threatened to release. I held onto the door for support.

"Bella?" he asked. "Are you okay?"

I slowly nodded. "Yeah, no, I'm fine. Really I am. I just I was about to go to sleep so I'm still a little fuzzy."

"Sleep? It's only four thirty!"

"I know... I just don't have much to do."

"Well, then how about you let me in and I'll fix you some dinner and we can watch a movie or something?"

"No thanks. I'm really not in the mood for company." I told him.

"Please? I'll leave after a movie, I promise."

I sighed. "Fine, come on in."

He followed me into the living room, plopping down on the sofa next to me. I crossed my arms and stretched my legs out on the coffee table. "What movie did you get?"

"I thought we could just find something on TV."

I nodded, not caring at all. Paul reached around me on the sofa, grabbing the remote. He clicked through the channels, not finding anything that entertained him. He threw the remote on Charlie's chair, then turned and looked at me with a smile.

"What do you really want, Paul? I hardly know you and from what I hear you aren't that social to people you haven't known since you were three. So what's the deal? Did Jake send you down here to check up on me?" I asked, turning to him.

He looked like he was at a loss for words. "Bella, there's something I need to tell you. I don't know how you're going to react."

"Well, spit it out," I said. All I wanted was to go back upstairs and hope that sleep would soon find me.

Paul ran a hand through his hair, letting out a sigh.

"Bella...Being a werewolf doesn't just mean that we are supposed to protect the town and turn into giant wolves. We also have other emotions that overtake us. It's the wolf. Fate even. I don't know how to explain it...I'm just going to blurt it out. Bells- Bella, you're my imprint."

"What? What are you talking about? What's an imprint?"

"It's where it feels like gravity doesn't hold you to the planet anymore, she does. You'll be anything for her. Wether that be a fatherly figure, a brother, a friend, or a boyfriend. Their whole life is devoted to her, only her. Nothing comes before her. She's everything to you. You love her more than anything or anyone in the whole universe and you'd do anything for her. It's like she's your soul mate. Fate tells you that you both belong together."

I absorbed his words. Not liking a single one of them. "So you're saying it's like a love at first sight type thing?"

He nodded and then shrugged. "Not exactly. The emotions are much stronger than just love. Its like love times ten. Everything you do revolves around her. Around you."

I nodded and bit my lip. "And you say that I'm your imprint?"

He nodded.

"So what? Am I just supposed to fall completely in love with you? I have no say in this?"

"No! You can do whatever you please. If you don't want me, that's your decision. It might kill me, but if it made you happy then that's what'd I do."

"Were you the one who ordered Jacob to leave me alone?" I asked, putting the puzzle pieces together.

"Not me. Sam did, but I honestly don't mind that. He likes you more than he should."

"Leave," I told him, standing up, my arms across my chest.

"Bella, please don't. Don't shut me out."

"I thought you were supposed to do what I wanted. Well, I want you to leave."

"Bella-"

"I said leave!"

"Why are you so upset?" he asked.

I turned my back to him. "Paul. I said leave."

"No. Not until you talk to me."

"I don't love you, Paul. I don't even know you."

"Bella, I'm not asking you to love me. Just don't leave me out of your life. Let me be whatever you want me to be. Your friend? Your brother? Just please don't shut me out. I'll go crazy if you do."

I glanced back at him. "You took Jake out of my life."

"I'm so sorry, Bella." He slowly walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. "I am. I can't be more sorry. I can see how much Jacob's absence has done to you. I'll tell Sam to allow him to see you again."

"You don't decide who I can and can't see. You aren't in charge of my life. You don't control me no matter what I am to you."

"I said I was sorry, Bella."

"Why do you care if Jacob comes and sees me?" I asked.

"Because I feel very protective of you, Bella. My wolf tells me that you're mine and no one else's. It's hard to see you with other men. My jealousy just overtakes me and I do everything I can to make sure that you stay mine. I can't control it, I'm born with it."

I nodded. "Paul?"

"Yeah?"

"I still don't understand this whole umprint thing. Will you explain it better?"

Paul laughed. "It's imprint not umprint, and yeah, sure. What do you want to know?"

"Well, when you imprint...does it matter what I chose? Does that have some major effect on us both?"

He nodded. "Yes. If you chose to not want me, it could literally drive me mad, it could make me miserable. I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I wouldn't be able to see any other girl. Ever. You're my one and only. When I look at other women, they look like a blur, like they are't real, you're in focus. For you, you would be able to be with whoever you wanted, but you would never be fully satisfied, never happy enough. You would feel something missing from your life."

I shook my head, grabbing my hair in frustration. "Why me? I didn't choose this!"

"We both didn't have a choice."

"That makes me feel so terrible. You don't get free will anymore. You have to love me. You don't get a choice. It makes me feel like a puppy you found on the side of the road that you took pity on so you took it home:"

"Bella, you're taking this the wrong way. I would have loved you anyway without any imprint. We would have eventually ended up together, but fates saving us the time. It's letting us just know."

"Paul, I need time to think. To actually realize what's going on."

He nodded. "I understand. I know this can't be easy for you." He went to the door, slowly opening it. "Do you want me to send Jake over?"

JPOV

I ran through the woods, just barely missing the trees. The rain and my tears fogged my vision as images and memories of Bella flashed through my mind. Her beautiful face, her long brown hair, her smile that I had to work so hard for. I missed her more than I thought possible. It was like someone had yanked a piece of my heart out. I needed to see her or I would go crazy. It's been two months and Paul hadn't even gone over to see her. He hadn't done anything. He told me that he was giving her "time" but it seemed like he was just putting it off like he does everything. He doesn't deserve Bella. Bella needs someone that she can count on. Someone that she knows would never blow up in her face. I then felt Paul transform, his mind, intertwined with mine. I growled at the open forest, pissed that I couldn't just run by myself. His thoughts of Bella made the tears that I had been holding back pour down my face. I let out a small whine.

'_Go see her, Jake_.' Paul told me.

_'What?_' I asked not believing what he said.

_'Get your ass over to Bella's.'_

_'Don't play with me, Paul.'_

_'I'm not. Now get your furry ass over there before I drag you there myself.'_

_'But why?'_ I asked.

_'Because Bella is completely miserable without you. She needs you Jake. I can't stand to see her like this.'_

_'Seriously? I can go?'_

_'Yes, now get moving.'_

A big goofy grin spread across my face, my tongue lolling out to the side. My big paws stomped through the woods, excited to see Bella.

'_Jake. Just remember. She is mine.'_

His words sprouted an anger that I couldn't control. I slammed myself into a tree, knocking it down to the ground. A growl escaped my lips, my eyes narrowed to slits. I couldn't stand this! How could I be around the girl that I loved but not able to make a move because someone had imprinted on her? I would literally lose my mind. I shifted back, pulling my shorts back up my hips. I buttoned them and pulled on the tight black shirt I had brought with me. I slowly walked out of the woods, hearing her heartbeat slam against her chest. I looked down at the ground as I walked up to her house, the cold rain falling down on me.

"Jake! Jacob!" I heard her yell to me. "Jake!"

I looked up to find her running through the downpour as fast as she possibly could to me. She launched herself in my arms. "Jake," she sighed, nuzzling her head between my shoulder and neck. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, babe." I kissed the top of her head, holding her tightly against me. I sighed and let go as a cold wind chilled us both. "Let's get you inside before you catch a cold."

I wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her along with me. We made it to the house, quickly opening the door and pushing her in. I led her to the sofa, pushing her down on it.

"Hold on," I told her as she shivered.

I left the room and went to the hall closet, pulling out a few blankets and towels. I went back to Bella, throwing the heap of material on the cushion beside her. "Hand me a towel," I told her. She picked one up and gave it to me. I wrapped it around her dripping wet hair. I wrung out her hair, soaking the towel.

"Go change, Bells. It's raining cats and dogs out there, and it's only forty out. You have to be freezing."

She shivered, her teeth chattering. She shook her head. "No, I-I am fine."

"Bella, I'll still be here when you come back."

"Promise?"

"Swear."

She smiled and quickly went up to her room to change. When she came back out, she had on flannel pajamas and had her hair in a sloppy bun. "Come here," I said, grabbing a blanket from beside me. She came back over to me and laid down, her head falling in my lap. She closed her eyes as I draped a blanket over her body.

"So, Paul told you." I stated.

She sighed. "Yeah."

"What are you thinking?" I asked.

"About Paul? Or you?"

"Both."

She hesitated. "I don't love Paul. I don't even really like him," she answered truthfully. "Paul told me that I didn't have to be with him, that it was my decision."

I nodded. "What's your decision?"

She took a deep breath. "I want you."

My wolf howled in happiness at her words, but then quickly whined when I realized I still couldn't have her. "Bella..."

"No, Jakey, it's okay," she mumbled, falling asleep. "Paul said I could be with whoever I wanted. I want you."

"Bella, you don't understand. I can't-"

"What do you mean," she asked, now fully alert.

"Bella, you belong to Paul. You might not want to, but you still do. Your body and soul and heart, they all belong to Paul. Or at least they do with in the pack's mind. We can never happen, Bella. No matter how much we want to."

"That's not fair!" she complained. "I want you!"

"I'm sorry," I told her.

A few tears fell down her face. "What was the point then? The point in me loving Edward? The point in you loving me, me loving you? If just one day I'm supposed to be with someone else?"

"The point is, we still had that connection. We got to feel those emotions with each other. No, it's not fair, but we can't look at it like that. We have to look at this as a good thing. You get a happily ever after. Even if it is with Paul."

"So this is it?" she asked, fear and pain making it's way into her voice. "I'm with Paul?"

"You need to just try it, Bells. Please. He's my brother." The words killed me, but I had to try and make things right. I couldn't stand in the way of her happiness.

She nodded, bitting her lip, tears falling from her beautiful eyes. "All right. If that's what you want."

I kissed her temple, running my fingers through her hair. "I should go."

"No, please don't. Please, just stay tonight. Please?"

"I don't know..." I shouldn't stay, that would just make this situation even harder for both of us.

"Come on, Jake. Just one last night. Our last night."

Anger and pain flooded my emotions. I didn't want this to be our last anything, but I nodded in agreement.

She gave me a small smile. She curled back up in my lap, grabbed my hand and held it tightly. "I love you, Jake."

Oh, Bella you have no idea. "Love you too." I stroked her long, brown, hair and then as an after thought added, "Always."


	3. Chapter 3

So this chapter is quite long, but I couldn't find a good stopping place with this part, so enjoy! :)

BPOV

It had now been a week since I had woken to find Jacob gone that morning. I was out of school for the summer. Nothing seemed to matter, though. Jake was always making excuses to not see me, and in a way I understood. Why would he want to be around a girl who in love with him, but was practically married to someone else?

I sighed as I put my hair up in a ponytail, a majority of it falling down in my face. I shrugged, not caring anymore, and went downstairs to start dinner for Charlie. He wouldn't be home for a few more hours, but I could still get it out of the way.

I made my way to the kitchen, pulling out all of the ingredients for Charlie's favorite; meatloaf. After I had started mixing it, my hands a meaty mess, someone knocked on the door. I rolled my eyes, of course someone would come over right when I started.

I grumbled to myself as I made my way to the door, grabbing a hand towel, attempting to get as much raw meat off my hands as possible.

"Hold on," I called as I quickly made my way to the door. I opened it with my wrists.

"Hey, sorry I-" I cut off mid-sentence as I looked up at Paul. I hated him yet loved him at the same time.

What was I going to do?

"Hey, Bella."

"Paul," I said, turning to go back to the kitchen. "I was fixing Charlie some dinner. You can sit at the table if you want."

"Thanks," he replied, the click of the door following.

I went back to my original position, mixing the meat with my hands.

"What are you fixing?" he asked.

"Meatloaf. It'll be done in an hour or two if you want some," I offered to be polite.

"That'd be great. Thanks," he replied. I could practically feel the smile on his face.

I finished mixing it and washed my hands, soon putting it in the oven. Once I had cleaned the kitchen I sat down at the table with Paul. He didn't say a word, only looking down at me.

"Is there something you wanted?" I asked.

"What?" he asked, snapping back to the present.

"Did you come here for something?"

He looked down at the table, wringing his hands out. "I wanted to ask you something."

"Okay, what?"

"Why do you hate me?"

I blinked at his question. I told Jake that I didn't like him, but I never said that I hated him. "I don't hate you, Paul."

"Okay, why don't you like me? What did I do?"

"You took my best friend away from me," I told him, looking down at my hands following his actions.

"Bella, I apologized for that. I can't do anything more. The last thing I want is for you to be upset. I can't stand it! It drives me insane knowing that you're hurting so much and whenever I try to help, I seem to make it worse."

"What do you mean when you try to help?" I asked.

He nervously looked at me, then back down at his folded hands. "I asked Jake to come over a week or so ago hoping you would feel better. I told him to see you whenever he wanted, that I had no right controlling him."

So Jake didn't come by his own will. Paul had told him to. "So you told him to come see me?" I asked infuriated.

"No, I asked, and he was all to eager to oblige."

I nodded. "Great." I said sarcastically.

"Is there something else that you count against me?" he asked.

I shook my head.

"Are you sure? No town rumors that you're curious about? No accusations?"

"You know what? You're a jackass and yeah, I have heard many rumors about you. You're a womanizer. Trying to get in any girl's pants. You would do anything to get what you wanted."

"Bella, that Paul is gone. The new one, hell I don't even know him that well! I just know that you're my everything. I can't help it! I know you don't want me. I get that. Trust me, once you rejected me I tried to forget about you. I drank until I couldn't see straight and ran through the woods, trying to block you out of my mind, but somehow you always made your way back in. Whether it was your hair, your eyes, your skin, your smile, anything. You were just there. The first few days I didn't fight you. I let your memory completely engulf me, but then I realized you don't want this and that made everything seem like it was in slow motion. When I slept, I thought I would get away from you, even if it was for only a few hours. But right when I closed my eyes, there you were."

"Paul-"

"No, Bella. I know that I've been stupid in the past, but if you please just give me a chance, I know that I'll be better. I'll be the man of your dreams."

"Paul," I said, scooting closer to him, our legs touching. It felt like electricity ran through us and made me want more of him. All of him. "I feel it. I feel the imprint, and all the sweet words you just said...they're only the magic talking. You don't mean those things, the wolf does."

"No, Bella. It's not the wolf."

"It is," I said, putting my hand on his thigh.

A low growl escaped his lips, his eyes closed. "Bella," he whispered through clenched teeth. "You have no idea what that does to me."

Only the sad part was. . . I did. I felt it too. My hand tightened on his leg involuntarily. "Bella?" he asked.

I looked down at my hand and quickly removed it as my senses came back to me.

"Sorry," I told him, folding my hands in my lap.

"I didn't mind," he laughed.

I looked up at him through my long lashes. He was beautiful, and sweet, and amazing. My head leaned closer to his, our lips only seconds away from each other. His hot breath tickled my nose.

"Paul," I whispered.

"Bella." His lips then collapsed on mine, heat flooded my face, hazing my thoughts. I broke the kiss, only to end up in his lap, getting as close as humanly possible. He moaned against me. It sent shivers down my back, goosebumps rising on my skin. He was everywhere. He was my up, my down, and my center. He was my life. His hands made their way to my hips, pulling me closer. I felt like his second skin. Paul broke apart from me, only to travel down my neck. His hands slid up and down my body, as he nipped gently at the tender skin under my ear.

"No. No, Paul. Stop," I said putting my hands on his chest, realizing what was going on, what I was doing.

He must not have heard me or he just didn't care because he continued to kiss up my jaw line.

"Paul. Paul stop!" I pushed against his chest again, this time he looked up at me.

"What is it?"

"I can't," I said, resting my forehead against his. I sighed as I pulled away and got up off his lap. The silence was too much for me. I went to the fridge and pulled out a water bottle. "Do you want something to drink?"

"Why?" he asked, standing up and walking to me.

"Because you're thirsty," I said, knowing he wasn't referring to the water.

"Don't," he warned, not wanting to play games.

"I just can't. There are many reasons why, but you wouldn't understand."

"Try me," he said, leaning on the counter.

I turned to face him, "Paul, I don't think I want to be with you. I mean, the imprint wants me to, but how can I tell for myself anymore? How can I tell if you really love me? We never thought anything about each other before. I just want to know that we love each other because we actually love each other."

He sighed. "How can I convince you?"

I looked down at the floor. "You can't. I can never be with you because I won't ever know the truth. My heart says I love you, but my mind tells me otherwise."

"This doesn't have to do with the Cullen does it?" he asked. He didn't say the name with hatred, but understanding and love for me.

"No," I answered. "I think that I'm actually, finally, over him." The news surprised me, but after it had come out of my mouth, I thought that maybe it was true. Of course I would always love Edward, more than my own life, but I could find happiness in someone else again. Someone could be more than a friend. "I think you should go," I said, crossing my arms over my chest. All my mind could think of now was Jacob. I wanted him.

"Bella, I - I can't just give up. I can't just leave and forget about you. Please," he begged, now in front of me, grasping my hands in his. "Just try. We can go slow. Slow motion, slow," he joked. "Just try. Come to the beach with me tomorrow. We're having a big bonfire. Only the pack and imprints will be there, but we could just go as friends. Or we could say it's our first date and if you don't feel anything, then I'll try my hardest to get over you. I'll try to be without you. Just come tomorrow. Please?"

I thought through what could happen. I could see Jake, I could get out of the house, I could have fun. The down sides were I would have to see the pack; especially Sam. I would have to face their accusing eyes and the girls that had fallen for their imprint.

"I don't know..."

"Come on, please?"

I looked up at him, finding big brown eyes glazed with tears, not knowing what to do with himself if I truly rejected him.

"All right. I'll try."

A smile spread across his face.

"Don't get too excited," I told him. "If I don't like it, I want you to take me home immediately."

He nodded. "Anything you want."

The next night came too quickly. Paul showed up at my house right on time, as soon as the clock chimed eight, Paul was in the driveway. He didn't wear a shirt as always, which showed off tan, bulging, muscles. He wore cut off blue jeans and tennis shoes. His hair fell slightly into his eyes and his big white bright smile was seen through the dark of night.

"Hey," he ginned as he made his way to the door.

I pulled it shut behind me as I went to meet him on the porch steps. He wrapped his arms around my waist and nuzzled his head between my neck and shoulder. I smiled a little, even though my stomach churned a little and my heart thudded erratically. His breath hit my collarbone, sending shivers throughout my whole body. After minutes of staying in the embrace, I pulled away slightly, not wanting to want it.

"Sorry," he sighed. "It's hard to control sometimes."

I nodded once and scraped my one sneaker against the concrete of the steps, looking down at my hands that were clasped in front of me.

"You ready to go?" he asked, lifting my eyes to his.

"Yeah, I guess," I said, letting out a gulp of air that I hadn't known I was holding.

He was about to ask something, but was interrupted by the door opening. Paul took a step forward pulling me a little behind him. I confusedly looked to the door. An upset Charlie had his arms crossed, a pout on his face.

"Hey Charlie," Paul greeted with a smile.

Charlie huffed. "Bella is there something you forgot to tell me?" His eyes never left Paul's.

I wanted to kick myself. How could I have forgotten to tell Charlie? "Uh, sorry Dad. I guess it just slipped my mind."

Charlie grunted and rolled his eyes. "Where are you going?"

"Paul's taking me to the bonfire out at La Push tonight."

Charlie's features turned to worry, the blood from his face drained. He had heard the rumors about Paul's ways as well. Before he could object though, I added, "Don't worry. Jake'll be there. So will the others."

A little bit of color returned to Charlie's face, but I swear I saw his hand go toward where his gun was usually kept. I was just thankful he had already hung it up. "When will you be back?" he asked gruffly.

This time Paul answered. "I'll have her back by ten," he smiled, "Maybe eleven." Paul looked back to me then at Charlie and as an afterthought added, "If that's all right with you."

"Bella, you still go that pepper spray?" Charlie asked, his hand gripping the door frame, his knuckles white.

"Dad," I sighed, shaking my head.

"Be careful, Bells," Charlie finally exhaled, giving up. "Please."

I looked up at him and nodded. "I will."

"Thanks Charlie," Paul smiled.

Charlie's jaw set as he looked back at Paul. "Just remember. I'm not like the other fathers around here. I'm the sheriff. Hurt her, I kill you. Got it?"

Paul gulped. "Yes, sir."

I smiled a little at my father. "Bye Dad," I waved as Paul and I walked off to his truck.

Paul opened the truck door for me, Charlie's eyes never leaving us. After Paul had gotten a little down the road, he shook his head and chuckled. "You know, Charlie has always liked me. He's never had a beef with me once."

"It's called being polite," I snapped. "He's heard all the rumors just like I have." The words startled both of us. I didn't know what had made me say it. This unexplainable anger just came out of me when Paul was around.

He looked at me, his brow crinkled in confusion. "Do you want me to take you back?" he asked, slowing down the speed.

I shook my head. "No. I-I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that."

He looked worriedly back at the road then at me. "You sure?"

I nodded. "I'm sorry." My face heated up, most likely looking like a ripe cherry.

We pulled up onto the rocky shore, already seeing the fire blazing. As we got closer I saw that the flames were at least ten feet tall, licking their way up to the sky. Unwanted broken chairs and tables were thrown carelessly into the hot fire, building up the momentum of the flames.

Sam and his imprint, as Paul had told me, Emily, sat together, their arms around each other. Embry and Quil wrestled around on the sand, laughing and enjoying the night. Jared sat by himself watching the two young boys fight, a small smile spread across his face. I looked around the shore, looking for the face that meant the most to me. I barely saw him behind the shadow of an oak tree. His face turned to a grimace as he noticed me, he turned his back and walked off into the dark forest.

I sighed, I guess his reaction was understandable.

Paul wrapped his one arm around my waist and led me over to Sam and Emily, who stood with smiling faces. Sam and Paul gave each other brotherly hugs and slaps on the back as I stood and watched. Emily laughed and wrapped her arms around me.

"Hello Bella. It's so nice to meet you," she said as she let go of me.

I gave her a small awkward smile and unknowingly leaned into Paul. "Hi," I said timidly.

"Paul, she's so much prettier than you told me," Emily laughed, playfully slapping Paul's arm.

Paul smiled back and looked down at me, nothing but love in his gaze. "I told you there aren't words for her."

My face must have turned ten different shades of red. This made them all laugh.

"Well, it's nice to have a new member of the family," Sam greeted me. "It's nice to see another one of us so happy."

I looked away from him and directed my stare on Paul. He looked down at me with what looked like admiration and devotion. It made my heart skip a beat, I felt nauseous and dizzy. My senses were completely haywire, doing as they pleased without my consent. After a few minutes Sam laughed heartedly and smacked Paul on the shoulder.

"You have it bad," he chuckled.

Paul barely heard him, intertwining his and my fingers together. I looked down at our hands, wanting to cry out in frustration, anger, love, and hatred. His strong, tan, warm, hand played with my cold, frail, and pale fingers. For a second I pretended it was Jacob's hand, my eyes closed and a smile spread across my face, but when I opened my eyes again, to my disappointment, Paul was there standing before me.

I shook my head, and looked down at my feet. _How could I be so selfish? _I asked myself. Here I have this wonderful man that is willing to do anything for me, and I'm wishing for someone else. I kicked the sand under my feet in irritation with myself. Paul took notice and whispered in my ear, "You okay?"

I took a deep shaky breath and nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine."

He gave my hand a gentle squeeze and pulled me over to an empty log. Emily went back to sit by the fire, pulling a blanket that I hadn't seen before, around her. Sam walked over to us and silently whispered in Paul's ear. Paul gave one nod, as Sam dashed off in the direction Jake had gone. I sighed and looked down at my clasped hands.

"I shouldn't have come," I said, running a hand through my hair, my eyes still locked on my lap.

Paul stomped his foot, sending sand flying around us. "No, Jacob just needs to stop acting like a teenager."

"He _is_ a teenager," I told him, upset that everyone was being so hard on Jake.

Paul shook his head. "You know what I mean."

"And aren't you only twenty?" I asked, annoyed by his lack of patience.

"Twenty-one. You're nineteen right?"

"Eighteen," I muttered.

Paul was quiet as he shook his head. "Could we start over? Please?"

"Just don't be so hard on Jake. He's going through a really tough time right now." So am I.

He grabbed my hand and held it in his lap. "I'm sorry."

Jacob and Sam soon came back. Sam sat next to Emily and Jake sat down by Jared, shaking his head and talking in low tones. I could see sympathy from Jared as he patted Jake on the shoulder.

"Let's play a game," Embry suggested, popping up off the sand and walking a little closer to Sam. "I'm bored, and we shouldn't have Bella believe _this_ is a bonfire."

Sam smiled a little, but let it fade. "Aren't we a little old for games?"

"No, no we are not."

Quil bounced up to. "Yeah, let's play truth or dare."

Embry grinned. "That could be really interesting. . ."

"That sounds like fun," Emily laughed.

"Truth or dare? Really?" He looked at his imprint, amused.

She nodded. "What about you, Bella? Paul?"

Paul looked down at me. "What do you think?"

I shrugged and looked around at all the excited faces.

"Please, Bella? Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty-"

"If I say yes will you stop?" I laughed.

Embry nodded enthusiastically. "Okay so that's a yes from Bella and Paul, what about you Jared? Jake?"

"I'm in," Jared said with a grin.

"Sure," Jake replied looking over at me. "Should be interesting."

I looked down at the ground as Paul pulled me a little closer to him. "Okay, I go first!" Embry called, throwing himself down in the sand again, pulling Quil down along with him. The group around the fire chuckled at his enthusiasm. "Okay, Truth or Dare, Sam?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "Surprise me."

Embry smiled happily. "Quil and I have been wondering this for awhile," Embry said mischievously. "Did you ever sleep with Leah?"

Sam looked down at Emily, his expression hardened. He nodded slowly. "It was a long time ago, though."

Embry and Quil howled with laughter. "We knew it! Was she good?" Quil asked.

Sam shot them both death glares. "No. You only get one question. I answered it. Move on."

Embry stuck his tongue out at him, but didn't press any further. I looked up at Paul, wondering who this Leah girl was. Paul smiled a little and leant down to whisper in my ear. "Leah Clearwater and Sam were a couple before he phased. He was her first boyfriend, first kiss, first love. They spent all their time together, wether that was taking long walks on the beach or going to pick up her younger brother, Seth, from school. She still loves him, but since Sam imprinted he had to leave her. He still beats himself up about breaking her heart though. The thought is always there in the back of his mind, haunting him."

The story was so sad. Poor Leah had her heart broken by the only man she had ever loved. I knew how she felt. I looked down at my feet, trying not to cry.

"Paul," Sam said. "Truth or dare?"

Paul wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him. "Dare."

Embry howled with laughter. "Kiss Bella."

I stiffened in Paul's arms as he and Sam both shot Embry glares and threatening looks. "Embry-" Sam started.

"What? He chose it!" Embry defended himself.

I sighed, this night was just getting worse and worse. Paul looked down at me and kissed my forehead. "There. I kissed her."

Embry huffed in frustration. "That's cheating."

Paul held me a little tighter in his arms. "Fine."

His face got closer to mine, both our heartbeats picking up speed. His breath hit hotly against my face, as his big brown eyes closed. Soon his lips were pressed tightly against mine, moving together in synchronization. Paul's hands intertwined in my hair, a low moan escaping his mouth. My legs involuntarily wrapped around his waist, my hands clutching his shirt. I heard Embry and Quil howl excitedly in the background. That's when my thoughts cleared and I remembered where we were and who we were with. Jacob.

I pulled away quickly, a blush rising to my cheeks as I wiped my mouth with my hand, embarrassed. A loud crash was heard and my head swiveled in the direction of the noise. Jacob stood there, his hands in fists, his frame shaking uncontrollably. Part of the log he had been sitting on was now broken and in the fire. Rage boiled in his eyes.

He didn't say a word as he stormed off, walking further down the shore. "Jake!" I yelled after him, ashamed of what had happened. I stood, prepared to run after him.

He didn't turn around or mutter anything back. "He'll come around Bella," Sam said with a grim smile.

"Come here," Paul said, pulling me back in his arms.

I pushed out of is hold, anger of my own building inside of me. I was angry at Embry who had dared Paul to do it. I was angry with Paul who kissed me in front of Jacob, knowing damn well what his reaction would be. Most of all, though, I was angry with myself. How could I even think about kissing another man in front of someone who loved me, and I loved back?

"You don't get it!" I yelled. "I love him! I am in love with Jacob Black! I thought I could try, Paul. I really did. I thought maybe I could get Jake out of my mind, but I can't. I love him." With that I ran off after Jake, stumbling through the wet sand.


	4. Chapter 4

"Jacob!" I yelled. "Jake wait!" I soon caught up to him, out of breath and exhausted. I watched as his body shook with rage.

"How could you?" he yelled. "How could you do that in front of me, Bella?"

"He kissed me!" I exclaimed. "Embry dared him to!"

"I saw you kissing him back. Hell, Bella, you ended up on his lap!"

"You told me to try, Jacob! You were the one who told me to give Paul a chance! I'm doing what you asked of me!"

He shook his head at me. "You know what, Bella? If I could take back every feeling I had for you, I would. If I could rewind time, and never meet you," he growled, turning back to me.

Tears welled up in my eyes. "You don't mean that," I replied shakily.

"I do. I would do it in a heartbeat."

"Jake-"

"Leave me alone. Don't ever talk to me again, and stay out of my life as much as possible, because you can't be a part of it. Ever," he continued.

The tears I had been holding behind my eyes, flooded down my face, trickled down my chin.

"We can't be friends, Bella. We can't be secret lovers. We can't be anything at all._ This,_ whatever it is, is over. We can't take away what's already happened, so let's just leave it at that. Everything that has ever happened between us is the last and only things that will ever happen."

"Please, Jake-"

"No, Bella. There's no way in hell that I could be just friends. I love you Bella, and I have to get over you. You. Aren't. Mine. We both need to get over it. I wish we never loved each other. I wish that Charlie and Billy were never friends, because now we both have to go around with this pain, this _unbearable pain_ of loosing each other. We can't keep doing this to each other because it leads nowhere except a life of heartache."

Even after all the hurtful, true, words he gripped my face between his hands, and brought our lips together. I kissed him back with as much passion as I could, pushing myself into the kiss, more than I thought possible. He moaned, his lips trembling as a tear fell down my face, hitting our mouths.

He pulled away, his eyes a mirror of mine. Pain and sorrow. "Even though I wish we had never met so we wouldn't have to go through this pain," he paused, his hands then holding my upper arms, pulling me closer to him, "I wouldn't trade one minute I've had with you for anything."

Without another word, he ran off. I fell to my knees, my head in my hands.

How could life become such a difficult task? How could loving someone be so hard?

My arms wrapped around my torso, holding me together. Sobs rocked my body as thunder crackled through the sky. I felt like I had been shredded to pieces once more. This time hurt even worse. Maybe it was because when Edward had left and Jacob had put me back together, I depended much more on him than I had thought. I knew he was gone this time. I knew he wouldn't fight for me. He couldn't. It was forbidden.

The rain soon started to poor down my face.

PPOV

"I don't care if it's fucking pouring out there!" I yelled at Sam. "She made her feelings clear. She doesn't want me, so why should I help her? Why should I care?"

Sam crossed his arms over his chest. "Because she's your imprint. You know deep down that you're worried sick about what she might be doing, where she might be, what's going on. So do she and yourself a favor and get off your ass and look for her. I already called Billy and he said Charlie's over there, but Bella isn't. That means she's out in that rain because her truck is still here. You have the keys. Go. Get. Her."

I shook my head angrily and stormed out of Sam's house, slamming the door behind me. "Fuck," I muttered as I made it to the shore. The sky was black, the air heavy, the temperature almost below freezing. I looked around for Bella, seeing nothing but water and sand. Where the hell was she?

I walked further along the shore, calling out her name. "Bella? Bella, where are you?"

I finally saw something a little over a hundred yards away. I jogged up to it, seeing Bella curled up in a wet ball, crying her eyes out. Her skin was paler than usual, her lips turning blue. I sighed and pulled her up in my arms. Strands of her hair were frozen with ice.

"Bella?" I asked worriedly.

She shivered, but didn't respond. Her condition frightened me as I pulled her closer to my chest, attempting to thaw her out. Her blue lips trembled as she gripped my shirt, trying to get closer to me. Her nails acted as claws against my skin, digging deep into my chest.

I ran back to Sam's, hoping Emily could help her. I held Bella closer to me as I kicked the door a couple times, hoping someone in the home would hear. Thankfully, Sam heard and opened the door in a matter of minutes.

"Paul?" he asked, then glancing down at Bella in my arms his eyes widened slightly. "Bella?"

"Can we come in?" I asked impatient.

Sam moved aside as I brought Bella into the heated house. "Who is it?" Emily's voice flowed through the nearby hall. "Oh, my," Emily murmured as she came into the room, rushing over to my side, pressing her hands against Bella's forehead and cheeks.

"Will you help me please?" I asked. "I don't know what to do."

"Of course! Let's get her in a nice warm bath," Emily said, pulling me along with her to the nearby bathroom. She went to the tub and started the water, heating it as much as possible. "I can take it from here. Why don't you go set up the guest room and call her father?"

I carefully set Bella down on her shaking legs, her hands still clutching my shirt. I pried her fingers out of the fabric as Emily pulled her closer to herself.

"You're sure I can't help?" I asked, watching as Bella's knees started to buckle, Emily catching her.

"I'm positive. I have her."

"All right. I'll go get blankets."

"Set them on the guest bed, please," Emily called after me as I left the room, with the click of the door behind me.

I made my way to the hall closet, grabbing handfuls of blankets.

"What the hell, Paul?" I heard Sam say from behind me.

"What?" I asked, turning around.

"Why the hell did you bring her back here?"

"Where else was I supposed to go, Sam?"

"Your house!"

"I didn't know what to do!" I defended myself.

"It doesn't take a genius to figure out that she needs to warm up."

"You were the one who said I had to go find her."

"Don't turn this on me?"

"What's the big deal?" I asked. "It's just one night."

"You saw Emily. She'll never get any sleep now."

"She'll be fine," I replied, closing the closet door and going to the guest room, laying the blankets on the bed.

"I hope you know you aren't going anywhere tonight," Sam said from the doorway.

"What?"

"You heard me. You're here for the night. You're going to learn, when it's your imprint, you take care of her. I have my own imprint to worry about."

"Sam-"

"And you might want to call Charlie. He'll be out in the cruiser if he doesn't hear anything soon."

I rolled my eyes and pushed past him to the kitchen to go call the chief. I snatched the phone off the console and dialed Bella's home number.

"Hello?" his gruff voice answered.

I ran a hand down my face and let out a gulp of air. "Hey, Chief Swan," I replied.

The phone went silent, minutes ticking on. "Paul," he acknowledged. "Where's Bella?"

"That's what I was calling to talk to you about," I said.

Before another word could escape my lips Charlie burst out, "What the hell happened? What'd you do?"

"Nothing! I swear! We're over at Sam Uley's!"

"I'll kill you," he roared.

I was about to defend myself when I small hand touched my arm. I turned to find Bella, her hair dripping wet, wearing a big sweatshirt and a pair of Sam's boxers. Her eyes held much sadness and exhaustion. She held out her hand for the phone.

"Hey, Dad. I'm fine. I'm with Sam, Emily, and Paul. Everything's fine. My truck wouldn't start so Sam said we could stay here and that they'd look at it in the morning," she paused, listening to Charlie. "No, Dad. I don't want you to come get me. Emily has me set up in the guest room. I'll see you tomorrow when you get home. I love you too. Goodnight, Dad."

She clicked end and hung the phone back in it's spot. "Everything good?" I asked.

She nodded, her hands going to her face, her shoulders then shaking. Bella's tears fell down her face as she started to fall to the ground. I immediately went to her rescue, picking her up. "Come on. Let's get you to bed. You've had a long day."

I went back through the living room, headed for the bedroom Emily had set up for her. I closed the door behind us before tucking Bella in, wrapping the blankets around her.

"Get some sleep Bella," I said, heading for the door.

"Wait," she sobbed, "please stay. Don't leave me."

"Bella-"

"Please Paul? Please?" she asked, tears rolling down her face.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey sorry I haven't posted in FOREVER but things have been quite hectic. I've been neglecting all my stories though and that's not good :/ so I'll be trying my best to update every week!

"Bella-"

"Please Paul? Please?" she asked, tears rolling down her face.

"Just until you fall asleep," I replied, sitting atop the covers beside her. I crossed my arms over my chest and stared at the wall in front of us.

"I'm sorry, Paul," she said just above a whisper. "I'm so very sorry."

I shrugged and replied, "Doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does," she insisted, sitting up on an elbow.

"Bella, just drop it all right?"

"Paul, I'm not letting this go! I was such a bitch," she said, flopping back down on the pillows.

I was in shock due to her vocabulary. "Bella-"

"No, I was. I shouldn't have done that, especially when I was supposed to be out with you."

"It doesn't matter now," I told her, not wanting to have this discussion at the moment. "Go to sleep."

BPOV

Paul's tone told me not to discuss the topic any further, so I shut my mouth, willed my tears to stop falling, and rested my head on his naked chest. Minutes ticked by slowly, the only sound in the room was our slow, steady breathing. My hair was fanned out around my head, splaying across Paul and the pillows that loitered beside me.

"Why?" I asked softly, breaking the silence. "Why did you come back for me?"

I felt Paul's head shift downwards. I scooted against his body into a position where his eyes were visible to me. He looked deeply into my eyes. "I'll always take care of you wether you want me to or not, Bella. You don't have to love me, but I need to love you. My life feels empty, lonely, incomplete without you. I need you in my life." With that he tucked the covers around me, kissing my forehead lightly. "Goodnight, Bella."

"Wait," I said, sitting up on my elbows. "Will you stay? Please?"

"Bella, I already told you I would."

"I mean all night. Please?" I begged. "Please." Tears welled up in my eyes at the thought of being alone. I needed a body next to me through the night.

He sighed and tangled himself in the covers beside me, wrapping me in his arms. "Go to sleep, Bella."

"Don't go, okay?"

"I'm right here," he replied. With that, I curled into him once more and my eyelids fluttered shut, enveloping me in a peaceful darkness.

The next morning I woke to my hand laying across the empty bed, my fingers grazing the sheets. I slowly sat up, remembering where I was and who wasn't with me. "Paul?" I questioned, running a hand down my face, my voice laced with sleep.

After minutes of silence, I sighed, realizing he wasn't anywhere near me. He had probably ran the minute I had fallen asleep. I quickly got out of bed, scrambling to find my clothes when I remembered Emily had taken them from me to wash.

I tried to tip-toe through the house, not knowing if anyone was awake or not. When I reached the kitchen though, it wouldn't have mattered if I was going through the house banging pots together. No one was inside, actually the opposite. I looked out the window behind the sink seeing Sam, Emily, Paul, and Jared sat outside on a picnic table, covered with breakfast goodies.

Emily quickly met my gaze, a smile spread across her face as she noticed me. She murmured something that I took as informing everyone of my awakening as then men turned their heads to look through the window. Jared and Sam wove to me with smiles of laughter on their faces as Paul gave a half smile that didn't fully reach his eyes. I knew then that what had happened last night wouldn't blow over any time soon. I needed to think about what Paul meant to me, and if I did want him then I needed to find out how I was going to possibly make this up to him.

Emily waved to me, motioning for me to come outside, holding up an overflowing plate of her famous blueberry muffins. I shook my head and jerked my thumb behind me, telling her I was leaving.

She gave me a look that I didn't understand at all. Before she could try explaining through hand motions, Jared yelled, "Come on, Bella! We won't bite!"

Emily smiled his way and handed him another muffin which he quickly stuffed in his mouth.

I sighed and went to the screen door leading to the backyard. I went over to the small table and stood beside Emily. She pulled me into a hug with a bright smile. "Good morning, Bella. How did you sleep?"

"Fine," I told her, passing on the food she offered once her arms weren't around me.

"Anything to drink?" she asked, pouring Sam another glass of orange juice.

Now that she mentioned it, my throat was a little sore. "Yeah, please," I replied, followed by a chest heaving cough. Sam patted me on the back a few times. "You okay, Bella?' he asked. "You don't look so good."

"He's right, honey. You look kind of pale. Are you feeling all right?" Emily asked, handing me the cool glass of juice. She placed a hand on my forehead. "You feel a little warm. . ."

"I'm fine," I told them, sipping the cool liquid. "I'm always pale, and my temperature has always run a little higher than normal."

"At least eat something," Emily insisted. "There's plenty here."

"I really should be getting back," I told her, placing the glass on the table next to Sam. "Charlie'll be worried if I don't get back soon. But thank you. Both of you," I said looking between Sam and Emily. "I don't know how I'll pay you guys back."

"Oh, Bella. Don't think of it. It was our pleasure. You're welcome anytime," Emily told me.

"Anytime," Sam agreed as he took a bite of an apple.

"Thank you. Hey, Emily, where are my clothes and keys?"

After I had changed I found that everyone had moved inside, the guys around the TV set, and Emily doing the last few dishes. I went over to her and pulled her in a hug, something I rarely do with most people. "Thank you again, Emily."

"Oh, Bella, really it was no problem," she replied, pulling out of my grasp and drying off her soapy hands. "Come over anytime. It's nice to have another girl around. It's been forever since I've had any girl time."

I smiled at her. "How about I come back over Saturday and we watch a few movies?" I suggested.

Her eyes brightened. "Oh, I would love that! I'll buy us a bunch of snacks and rent a few scary movies. You can even stay the night again if you'd like."

"I'd love that," I told her.

She smiled and hugged me once more. "Be careful driving back."

"I will."

"Bye, Bella!"

I gave her a small wave as I walked through the living room, around a bunch of muscle heads. "Bye Bella," Sam and Jared smiled as I pulled open the door.

"How about you go walk her to her truck, Paul?" Sam shoved Paul's shoulder.

Paul stood and followed me out to the driveway, opening my door for me. Before I got in I looked at him, seeing he was avoiding my gaze, looking everywhere but at me.

"Stop staring," he murmured with a slight grin.

Before I could stop myself, I stood on my tip toes and wrapped my arms around his neck, resting my head on his shoulder. "Thank you, Paul," I whispered, before pulling away and getting into the cab of my old Chevy and revving the engine.

He didn't say a word as I pulled out of the small gravel driveway and down the highway toward Forks, a slight drizzle falling from the sky. A few teas trickled down my cheeks. Why did my life have to be so complicated?

I ran a hand through my hair, and swiped the few tears away.

I made it home feeling like hell froze over. My throat was scratchy, causing multiple chest heaving coughs, I had a slight headache, and I was extremely congested. I guess that's what I get for ruining everyone's night, I knew now that I would never go running through the rain in fifty degree weather again.

"Bells is that you?" I heard Charlie call from the living room.

Who else would it be? I wanted to say, but instead replied, "Yeah, Dad. It's me."

I heard the old rusted springs from his chair squeak in disapproval of his shifted weight as he got up and made his way to me. "Did Paul and Sam get your truck working?" he asked.

My truck? "Wha- oh, right," I said, remembering the lie I had to tell him, "Yeah. They got it up and going," I said.

"What was wrong with it?" he asked.

"Something with the engine or something," I said, unsure as to what could be wrong, I had no idea when it came to cars. "You know I don't pay much attention to that stuff."

He smiled a little and nodded. "I guess your right."

"Sorry, but Dad, I'm really not in the mood to talk. I'm not feeling all that great. I'm gonna go lay down and read or something, okay?"

Charlie put his large hand over my forehead and then both on either side of my face. "Hmm. . .you feel a little warm. Do you want me to go get you anything?"

"No," I replied, heading towards the stairs. "Thanks though," I added.

He nodded once. "I'll be watching the game. Feel better."

"Thanks," I replied, slowly making my way to my bed.

JPOV

I lay on my back, my iPod blaring, and my eyes shut. I needed to be in my own world for just a moment, for just one song, but of course I couldn't even have that simple request. A pounding knock interrupted my reverie.

Ever since this imprint between Paul and Bella happened, my world has just seem to have fallen apart. Why couldn't Bella have professed her love to me _before_ Paul had to steal her away from me?

The knocks continued until I jumped out of bed, threw my iPod on the floor in a pile of clothes, and pulled open the door. "What?" I bit out.

"Jacob, I think we should talk about Bella," Billy said, wheeling down the small hall toward the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes and slammed my door shut as I followed my father to the kitchen, leaning against the sink, I crossed my arms and spit out, "There's nothing to talk about. She's Paul's imprint. Plain and simple."

"Now, I know how you feel about her Jacob, how you've always felt about her," Billy said calmly.

"Doesn't matter," I shrugged. "Never did."

"Jacob-"

"I'm going out," I said with a puff of air.

"Jacob wait!"

I ignored his pleas to reason with me as I walked out the door, pulling my shirt off as I started to run toward the woods, not caring enough about my shorts to pull them off. They tore to shreds as my wolf took over, throwing me into the woods.

My paws pounded against the dirt, shaking the ground beneath me. Voices flooded through my mind.

_Jake, you need to calm down, _Sam growled.

_Where are you going?_ Seth questioned.

I growled. _None of your damn business. Stay out of my head. Both of you. _

_All right. Seth don't bother Jacob_, Sam ordered.

No response was heard. I pushed myself further and further through the tangling forest. I didn't know where I was going until I reached a two story white house that was all too familiar.

BPOV

I blew my nose for the hundredth time, throwing yet another tissue away. My nose was red and raw from the frequent attention I was giving it. My head was pounding, my throat so sore I could barely talk. I laid on the sofa, the TV on, something that rarely happened, when there was a knock on the door.

I glanced at the hall and back at the TV, willing whoever it was to go away. The knocking repeated, this time slightly heavier.

I slowly got up and moved to the door, telling myself it was time for another dosage of medicine anyway. I drug myself to the door, pulling it open slightly. "What?" I asked, with a sniffle.

I looked up to see who it was, and to my surprise it was the only person who could make me feel better. "Can I come in?"

"Jacob," I breathed.

**I've never really done Jacob's POV but once in this story. Do you guys want more of Jacob's side or should I just focus on Bella and Paul? Tell me what you think? Is it good or am I failing D: **


	6. Chapter 6

He pushed open the door and pushed a strand of hair out of my eyes. Before I could even begin to comprehend what he was doing here, he pushed me up against the wall and placed his lips over mine. He wasn't gentle and careful like he had been instead he started a passion that surged through me. He pulled my legs up around his waist as I entangled my fingers in his hair. He dominated me, holding me in place, moaning into me. My nails dug into the back of his neck as my legs tightened around him. Sadly, he pulled away panting, his shaggy hair falling in his eyes.

"You look like hell," he chuckled, a warm hearty sound.

"What are you doing here?" I croaked, ignoring his comment.

He cocked an eyebrow at me. "I can leave. . ."

"No!" I said, slightly louder than expected. "I mean, I thought you had made your feelings about seeing me again pretty clear last night."

Jake looked down, not meeting me gaze. "I'm sorry," he replied quietly. "I shouldn't have said that to you, Bella."

I pushed his head up with my finger and turned his head to be directly in front of me. I leaned toward him and kissed the corner of his mouth.

His breath fanned across my face, making me lose focus. "I know you only said it because you thought it was what you had to do, but Jacob you don't have to push me away. We could run away together. Just you and me. We could go anywhere! We could be together."

With that being said, Jacob lightly dropped me to my feet, closing the door behind him. "I shouldn't even be here," he said with a shake of his head. "I just couldn't stay away from you any longer."

"Than don't."

He cupped my face in his hand, the other tucking a loose stray of hair behind my ear once more. "You are so beautiful," he murmured. I sniffled, bringing him back to the realization that I was sick. "What's wrong with my girl?" he asked, kissing my forehead.

At his wording _my girl_, my heart pounded. "Sick from being out in the rain. I'll never do _that _again," I answered.

He intertwined our fingers and pulled me back to the couch, fluffing up my pillow and covering me up after I had lain down.

"Oh, I needed more NyQuil," I said, starting to pull the warm blanket's comfort off me before Jake carefully pushed me back down and pulled the cover up more.

"I'll get it," he murmured.

In seconds he had left and returned with a glass of water and two giant pills. I swallowed the pills then gulped down the water. Jake took the cup back from me, resting it on the coffee table that sat in the middle of the room. He then came over to sit by me on the floor, grabbing one of my hands in his.

"I'm sorry," I told him, looking at the TV, but just seeing moving pictures.

"Bella-"

"I'm sorry for kissing him, Jake. I shouldn't have done that. Not in front of you. That was out of line and-"

"Bella," Jake interrupted, holding up his hand to stop me from apologizing any further, "it wasn't your fault. I was the one who told you to give Paul a chance, and I'm the one who keeps screwing it up for you two, but I can't say sorry. I won't say sorry. I can't stand you seeing with him. I couldn't stand seeing you with anyone who wasn't me, Bella." He paused, looking up at me through his long lashes, his thick eyebrows pulled together in frustration, "And for that, I'm sorry, because as long as I'm around I won't let anyone else be with you. I'll always be there in the background, making something go wrong, making someone get upset, making something, _anything_ happen to stop you from loving another man. I never realized how much in love with you I am, Bella. I knew I loved you, but damn, this is something that I can't even describe."

"What are we gonna do Jake?" I asked.

"I don't know," he sighed then squeezed the hand he was holding a little tighter. "I don't know."

Jacob didn't stay much longer that I knew of, because I had fallen asleep shortly after our conversation, and when I awoke, Jacob was nowhere to be found, only a note was left behind.

I love you. Don't ever doubt that. Don't ever forget that.

Your Jacob.

I folded the note up and put it in my top drawer of my dresser, under many shirts. I smiled a little, remembering how he had kissed me, knowing how much I loved him.

I hated myself for the feelings I had for Jacob, I hated myself for not being able to give Paul what fate was telling us was right. Most of all though, I hated the imprint that had screwed everything up.

I sighed as I closed the drawer shut.

I hadn't heard a word from Jake or Paul for a little over two days. I didn't understand what was happening with Jacob. One minute he was kissing me, pushing me up against the wall, then the next he was back to ignoring and avoiding me, yelling at me to chase after Paul.

He confused me beyond belief.

Paul on the other hand made me mad as hell, or as turned on as possible. He just had to breathe the wrong way for me to get annoyed as hell with him. I didn't know what it was with him. I still had no clue what I was going to do about him.

A knock on the door downstairs pulled me from my thoughts. I quickly tumbled down the stairs, hoping to get to the door in time.

"Hold on!" I called with a slight cough, still not over the cold I had earned from running through the cold rain.

Paul stood on the other side, his arms crossed over his chest. "Oh, hey Paul," I greeted him.

He ignored me, pushing past me into the house followed by Quil and Embry, who I hadn't even noticed. "Hey guys," I smiled at them.

They both smiled back, neither one reaching their eyes. "Hey, Bella."

I closed the door behind them, then turned back to find Paul looking around, cocking his head to the side listening.

"What are you-" I began to ask, but Paul shushed me and went to the living room.

I chased after him. "What do you think you're doing Paul?" I asked quite annoyed at how he marched in here as if it was his home.

"Jacob's been gone for a few days. Last time anyone saw him was over here," he answered sharply.

"What do you mean gone?" I asked, a knot forming in the pit of my stomach.

"Missing." Paul then turned to me, his arms across his chest defensively, once again.

Missing. _Missing. _Jacob. _My Jacob. Missing. _Then something Jacob had said not but two days ago circled over and over again through my mind. _As long as I'm around I won't let anyone else be with you. __As long as I'm around. _

Had Jake left to give Paul and I a _chance_? Tears sprung to my eyes, a lump in my throat.

"Missing?" I croaked.

Paul nodded. "Apparently, according to Billy, he hasn't been home in two days. Sam and Seth say they last saw him arrive here in wolf form. Don't try to deny it either, Bella. They've shown me through their memory. He was here. Where is he? Why was he _here_?"

My breathing was becoming uneven, my legs unsteady. Everything seemed to be miles away from me.

"Bella?" Embry asked, his voice sounded distant. I couldn't focus on anything. My vision went dark, my legs buckled beneath me.

"Bella!" Paul exclaimed, rushing toward me, his arms outstretched as my body swayed slightly.

...

"Maybe we should call an ambulance," Quil suggested.

"Or splash some water on her," Embry added.

I heard their voices above me, could feel a hand on my cheek. I groaned slightly at the pain in my head, my hand going to the source, pressing down gently. My eyes fluttered open to find Embry, Quil, and Paul hovered above me, their expressions wary.

"Oh thank God," Paul exclaimed, looking up at the ceiling and then back down at me.

"What happened?" I asked, sitting up on my elbows, causing the boys to back off slightly.

"You fainted. Are you all right? You hit your head," Paul said, his hand slipping from my face to my lower back.

"My head hurts," I admitted, cringing when I pressed too hard on one side of my head.

"Go find her some pain reliever," Paul ordered to both boys who stood by waiting for something useful to do. Both boys jumped on the act, searching through drawers for a bottle of Advil.

"Upstairs in the bathroom," I informed them.

They then ran up the stairs.

"I take it Jake didn't tell you about his paster plan to runaway?" Paul asked rhetorically.

I snorted slightly. "Obviously."

"So then what _did_ happen when he was here?"

I paused, not wanting to upset him any further. "Nothing much," I lied, willing for it to ring true. "I fell asleep on the couch, Jake was on the floor. We had the TV on. He must have left when I was unconscious, because when I woke up he was gone. He just said that he had wanted to see me." That wasn't a lie. I had fallen asleep before Jake had left, and in a way he had said he wanted to see me.

"You're hiding something," Paul said, narrowing his eyes.

"No. I'm not."

He watched me carefully. "All right."

Embry and Quil bounded down the stairs, saving me from having to lie any further.

"Got it," Embry said holding the bottle of pills in his hand.

I smiled at him. "Thanks."

Paul took two small pills out and placed them in my hand. "Quil go get Bella some water."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm perfectly fine to get my own water," I said, getting up until I was pushed right back down by Paul while Quil ran into the kitchen.

"Bella, you fainted. You're unsteady. I'm not gonna let you get up and start walking around. You need to rest."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm perfectly fine."

"That's why you fainted, right?" Paul asked sarcastically.

"It was because the news stunned me."

"Either way."

Quil was then back in the room with a tall glass of water. "Here 'ya go Bella," Quil said, his hand outstretched.

Paul took the water and handed me the two pills. I quickly took them then gulped the water down, handing it back to Paul.

"We're gonna head out. Sam won't want us wasting time," Paul said standing.

"All right, but Paul could we have a minute alone please?" I asked, looking back at Quil and Embry.

"Embry. Quil. Go tell Sam I'll only be a few more minutes."

Both boys nodded and headed out the front door. "Bye Bella."

"Bye guys," I waved.

I stood, ignoring Paul's protests and warnings on staying seated. I wavered slightly, but Paul easily balanced me. Once I was steady enough to hod myself up, I pushed his hands away. "Thanks."

He nodded. "You wanted to talk?"

"It's just-" I looked at him, bitting my lip slightly. "If you hear anything-"

"I know. You want me to contact you as fast as possible," he said rolling his eyes.

"Please," I begged, closing my eyes.

"Is that all you wanted Bella?" he asked, heading toward the door.

I nodded, a single tear falling down my cheek. "Yes, that's all." I opened my eyes to watch painfully as he started storming out again.

Paul shook his head, a sarcastic chuckle escaping his lips. "All right." He threw open the door, then paused in the doorway. "What's so wrong with _me_, Bella?" He didn't turn to look at me, he stood with his back facing me, his hand gripping the doorway.

I wanted to tell him, because you aren't _him_! But I kept my mouth shut with those words. I looked down at my feet.

"Think on it," he said coldly, slamming the door behind him.

I finally let the tears I had been holding fall down my face. I crumpled to the floor, my hands covering my eyes, my knees pulled up to my chest. My body rocked with sobs, my whole body shaking.

"Come back, Jake. You can't leave me here."


	7. Chapter 7

April

May

Two months had passed. Jacob still hadn't returned, and everyone but Charlie had given up hope. Billy had told Charlie that Jake was old enough to leave and come back whenever he wished. Charlie had been infuriated and had come to me for backup. I had told him I felt the same as Billy because I knew that Jake could take care of himself. Plus, I knew that he most likely was in wolf form.

Posters now loitered every store, telephone pole, and cork board for the next three towns over. Charlie had even put his picture on the back of local milk cartons.

Seeing his picture everywhere caused me to lock myself in the house. Besides going to school, I never left.

Charlie hadn't tried to even get me out of the house, either. I assumed he hadn't given up hope on Jake, but knew that it was too late for me. He had given up on me.

My old rusted Chevy truck rolled into my driveway, puttering off. I knew that it would soon die, and since my favorite mechanic was nowhere to be found, I would have to get another cheap ride.

I slammed the heavy orange door and headed inside.

"Bella," a deep husky voice bellowed from in front of me.

I looked up, knowing who it was immediately. "Hey Paul," I said with a small smile.

Paul had been coming over everyday after school since Jake had left. He would help me with my homework, help cook dinner, and even volunteer to clean the house with me. Paul was really helping me out.

I met him at the door, looking for the correct key to the door on my keychain. Paul turned to face me, still leaning half of his body on the wall.

"How was school?"

"Let's just say I'm anxious for graduation," I replied. Next month I would be a graduate from Forks High and then be attending Washington State in the fall, if I even go. I might just be stuck here for the rest of my life.

"Don't blame you," he said with a chuckle. "I was excited to graduate when I was your age."

"You make it sound like such a long time ago," I smiled sightly, opening the door and dropping my book bag on the floor by the kitchen table.

"It feels like it," Paul said, plopping down on one of the chairs.

I grabbed a pan out of the cupboard and turned on the stove. I then snatched the four steaks out of the fridge and started to fix dinner.

I put the steaks in the sink to thaw a little, and grabbed a few potatoes from the pantry, starting to peel and dice them for mashed potatoes.

"Here," Paul said, his arms wrapped around me, his hands going to grab mine. He grabbed the knife from my hand and then the potato.

He was very close to me. _Very _close. His smell reminded me a lot of Jake, but it was in a way different. He was musky, bare soap, pine needles, and dirt; a smell that was to be honest, quite attractive.

his breath hit against my neck, warning me just how close he really was.

"Thanks," I murmured, watching his hands work.

Paul's arms brushed mine again, causing goosebumps to spread across my skin.

Before my mind could comprehend anymore, Paul had moved, placing the sliced potato into a boiling pot of water., turning the burner on a lower degree.

I cleared my throat, trying to focus my mind on the task at hand. "So what did you do today?" I asked, pulling out the steaks and began marinating them.

"Pack stuff," he muttered.

"Oh," I replied, throwing the meat into a pan and turning it's burner up.

Paul pulled out a chair for me with his foot, a small smile on his face. I shook my head, leaning against the countertop, my arms crossed across my chest. I looked down at my feet, keeping the tears at bay. Whenever Paul mentioned something about the pack or about the wolf side of him, my thoughts immediately went to Jacob. Paul knew this as well as I did, which is why he sighed and pushed back his chair. I could hear his boots hit the tiled floor as he made his way to me. His hands went to my upped arms, holding them. "Hey," he said softly, willing me to look up at him. I shook my head slightly, a single tear falling down my face. "Look, Bella. I'm sorry," he said, putting a finger under my chin, lifting my face so I could see his. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

I looked into his big brown eyes through my tear filled ones. He looked truly apologetic, which caused my heart to hurt. It wasn't fair to have him apologizing over something Jacob related. "It's not fair," I cried, a few tears falling down my face. "None of this."

He pulled me into his arms, crushing me to his chest, but in a comforting way that had me clinging to him. The tears that I had been trying so forcefully to hold back came flooding down my face, pouring onto his shirt. Paul's arms were around me, clasped at the small of my back his head rested on the top of mine, my head on his chest, allowing me to hear his steady heartbeat. He held me like that for what seemed like forever, just comforting me, holding me tightly, and trying his best to be there for me.

"Thank you," I whispered against his chest once my tears had stopped falling and a silence had fallen over us. "You shouldn't have to put up with me."

"Put up with you?" he asked, pulling back slightly, his arms still around me, so he could look into my eyes. "I _never _have to put up with you, Bella. I stay around because I want to. I stay around because I care about you Bella."

Even though she was crying over Jacob, even though she was broken beyond repair between losing Edward and Jacob, even though I had hurt Paul time after time, he slowly brought his face closer to mine. He hovered there, his eyes looking deeply into mine, his breath fanning against my face. He was waiting for me to make the next move, waiting for me to lean toward him and press my lips against his. The only thing stopping me was, was I really ready for this? Was I ready to try to move past Jake and try to achieve my destined future with a man I was supposed to love above everything?

"Before I do anything," Bella said, taking a deep breath, "I just want you to know that-"

"Sh," he said, placing a finger over my lips. "I know."

"And that's all right with you?" I asked confused, starting to pull back.

Paul's grip on me tightened, not allowing me to go anywhere, "I understand, Bella."

His thumbs stroked both sides of my waist, his eyes still boring into mine. My heels lifted off the ground, balancing on my tip-toes, I slightly moved toward him and before I could register how close I actually had gotten, my lips were crashing down on his. My eyes closed as his warmth took over me. Paul was slow, his lips caressing mine gently. I moaned into his mouth, this kiss was so unlike any other I had ever experienced with Edward or Jacob. Sparks flew in front of my closed eyes, lighting up my world. I had kissed Paul twice before, but I had never really been into it. Now, all I could think about was Paul. He was everywhere.

The kiss intensified, passion swirling up in the both of us. His hands moved to the back of my head, his fingers curling into my hair. His lips pushed against mine in a fierce way, devouring my mouth. My arms wrapped around his neck, moans and groans escaping us both. He then dropped his hands back down to my waist, dropping lower to the back of my upper thighs. He pushed on them slightly, my knees buckled. He grabbed me before I could fall, lifting me into his arms, my legs wrapping around his waist.

His hands then went to my butt, holding me in place. I pulled away for breath, but that didn't stop Paul, his lips traveled down to my throat, his hair tickling under my chin. I smiled slightly until he nibbled on the skin that covered my collarbone. I groaned, my head thrown back. I had never experienced anything like this in my entire life.

It felt like I was on fire, wherever he touched me burnt.

My world then came crashing down when we heard the front door creak open, Charlie's boots banging against the hard wood floor as he made his way into the kitchen. "Bells?" he called.

Paul quickly dropped me to my feet, then sat back down at the table, clearing his throat. I stood frozen by the counter, dazed by what had just happened.

"Bella?" he called again, this time in the doorway, his thumbs latched in his belt loop, his right hand slowing reaching further toward his gun.

"Uh, hey Dad," I greeted him awkwardly, shaking my head slightly to clear my thoughts. "How was work?"

Charlie pursed his lips at my demeanor, but answered anyway. "Work was good. Work was good," he said, evaluating Paul's and my faces.

Paul grinned up at my father, his teeth a brilliant white. "Hey Chief!"

Charlie groaned. "Paul. You're eating here again," he muttered not as a question, but more of a disgruntled statement.

Paul chuckled. "That's the plan. Unless you'd rather I leave. . ."

"Actually-"

"Dad," I reprimanded him before he could utter his wish for Paul to leave. "I made plenty for the both of you."

Charlie didn't reply as he grumbled to himself and marched out of the room to go hang up his belt and turn on the game.

I sighed as he left, a small breathy laugh escaped my lips. I looked over at Paul who shared the same smile. I ran a hand down my face and went toward him as he had motioned for me to do.

He hooked his thumbs on my front belt loops and smiled up at me. "I should go."

"What?" I asked, confused that he would leave now, after we were finally getting closer.

"Bella, like you said before, you're still hung up over Jake," he said with a small frown. "I think-"

"I never said that," I interrupted.

He looked down at me, his eyes sad. "Let's see how you feel about me next week, or maybe even the week after. I just want to make sure you want me, Bella."

I nodded in understanding, my head tilted downward. "I guess so."

"Hey," he said, lifting my chin slightly, "This is all on you. Don't think I'm pushing you away, Bella. You know damn well my feelings for you."

I blushed slightly, thinking of the kiss we had just shared. I nodded my head twice. "I can't give you everything you want," I told him, looking up at him through my long lashes.

"You give me everything just by being alive," he said, grabbing my hand, placing a kiss on my knuckles.

I flinched, the words close to those said by not a long forgotten member of my life. Memories filled my mind as I pinched my eyes shut, trying to hold a few tears at bay. Paul was right. I wasn't over Jacob, hell I wasn't even completely over Edward! I was upset about Jake leaving and was on the rebound.

Paul put both of his hands on either side of my face. "What? What did I say wrong?" he asked tenderly.

I shook my head slightly. "It's nothing. Edward just told me something like that before he left."

Paul sighed, and pulled me in his arms. "See what I mean? I just want to make sure you're ready to fade into a new relationship, Bells." Again I flinched slightly at the nickname Jacob had used. "What did I do now?" he asked, slightly annoyed, but still calm and attentive.

"Nothing," I responded, trying to keep as little turmoil between us as possible. "I'm fine. Promise."

Paul looked doubtful, but didn't bother fighting me on the matter. "Okay, well I'm gonna go," he said, removing his arms from around my waist and moving toward the door.

"You don't have to go."

"Like I said, I do. Plus Charlie doesn't seem to want my company tonight."

I nodded. "All right. I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked hopeful.

He chuckled. "Yeah, Bella. I'll see you tomorrow. Same time, same place."

With that he told Charlie goodbye and then left, leaving me standing in the kitchen trying to organize my tangled thoughts.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry I haven't posted for a while, I've had writer's block :( or at least for this chapter haha I've finished the ending to this **

**story and I can't wait to share it with you! I'm so excited to get your feedback on it! But don't worry it'll be awhile before I even think about **

**uploading the end. I want at least 30 chapters with this so I still have a lot of writing to do :) Hope you enjoy this chapter and tell me what you **

**think! Also tell me what you think is going to happen or what you want to happen! **

With that he told Charlie goodbye and then left, leaving me standing in the kitchen trying to organize my tangled thoughts.

Days passed with the same routine. I went to school, came home, found Paul waiting for me, and then we would spend the day together. Things were getting better with us too. I was actually starting to grow true feelings for Paul. There was no longer just a pull from the imprint. Yes, that was still there, but now, now there was a part of me that hated to tell him goodbye at night, a part of me that loved to be encased in his strong muscular arms, a part of me that just couldn't get enough of him.

"Why don't you come over to my place tomorrow? We can hang out, I can show you my house, watch a few movies," Paul suggested, turning to me one afternoon while I fixed chicken for Charlie. "Yeah, absolutely," I said, flipping the meat, "Sounds fun."

A smile spread across his face. "All right, I look forward to it." He then kissed my cheek and headed out of the kitchen. "Where are you going?" I asked as I watched him head to the front door.

"I'll see you tomorrow!" he replied as the door clicked shut.

That night went by slowly as I lay in my room alone, rereading Wuthering Heights for the millionth time, the spine withered and torn, the pages coming apart from the seams. My eyelids fought for control as they started to droop, right before a knock was heard on my window. The sound woke me immediately, trying to think of something that could reach my second story window.

I knew it was stupid to ask, but the only answer I could come up with was to ask who it was. "Who's there?" I asked, feeling slightly silly. A flame of red shifted through the glass. My breath hitched. Victoria. Frantically, I ran back to the far wall, grasping the lamp from my desk. Tears stung my eyes, my chest felt like it was caving in.

_Go away_, I silently pleaded. _Go away. _

I sank to the floor as the window creaked and rattled open. "Please," I begged for my life as I closed my eyes, hearing a foot thud against the hardwood of my bedroom. "Please just leave me alone."

"Bella! Bella, sweetheart what's wrong? Are you okay?" Paul's voice flooded through the room.

I peeked my eyes open, looking through my long lashes, seeing Paul's face above mine, worry etched into his features. He placed his hand on the one side of my face, making my breath calm slightly.

"I thought," I sobbed. "You - and her - I thought. . ."

"Bella talk to me. What's going on?" he asked me again.

I tried to calm down but my body kept shaking, my breathing uneven, tears streaming down my face. "Oh Paul, I'm just so glad it was you!" I cried, stuttering on words.

"Who else would be climbing up your second story window, Bella?" he asked, clear anger evident in his voice.

I pressed my head against his chest as his one hand went to my back rubbing small circles, the other smoothing down my hair. "V-victoria," I said her name, an icy chill running through me.

His body stiffened against mine. "The redheaded bloodsucker that's been running through the woods? Why the hell would she come here Bells?"

I clung to his chest, my heart still pounding beneath my skin. "She wants me dead."

The next day Paul had assigned a watch party for every hour to patrol the woods behind my room. Two wolves would stand by and walk from each side of the house, until they met in the middle then repeat the process. I felt like a damsel in distress being protected by wolves, waiting for my Prince Charming.

I had finally grown tired of watching the shadows of the giant wolves cross the yard in long strides. I made my way down the stairs, I pulled on my jacket, hurrying to the door. I grabbed my purse, slung it over my shoulder, and headed out to my old rusted truck. Before I could even open the truck door, a tan hand pushed it back shut.

"Hey!" I said, turning around, my eyes narrowed. Embry stood in front of me, one arm pushed up against the truck, the other hanging loosely at his side.

"Where do you think you're going? Paul had strict orders to keep you under lock and key."

"I'm going on the reservation. I thought I'd stop by Paul's and spend some time out of the house," I told him.

"Hm," he thought it over. "How about someone ride with you or follow close by the road to make sure you make it there safely," it wasn't a question, he was giving me options.

"I think I can manage to make it there by myself."

"Bella," he groaned, "can you just please cooperate?"

I crossed my arms over my chest but nodded. "Fine. I'll meet you at Paul's."

Emby gave me a slight smile. "We do this cause we love you sweetie," he said, kissing my forehead.

I rolled my eyes. "You do it because Paul would punch your skull in if you didn't."

Embry chuckled. "That too."

He then disappeared into the trees, becoming the wolf.

I climbed into the cab of my truck, quickly starting the ignition, throwing it into gear, and then speeding out of the driveway, going as fast as my old truck could take me. It wasn't long before I sat idling in front of Paul's house. Embry came out of the woods, shifting back into his human self.

"Hey, let's get you inside," he said opening the cab door.

He helped me out, making sure I didn't trip and fall like I had many times before. "Thanks, but I can take it from here, Em. It's just a few steps up until I reach the door."

Embry glanced back at the front entrance and back down at me. "I don't know Bells. . ."

"Come on! Paul is right inside. I don't need a babysitter for a small walk."

"Okay, fine, but I'm going to wait until you get inside, okay? I'll be somewhere in the trees."

I nodded as he turned back to the woods, undoing his shorts, and beginning to lift his shirt up over his head. I made my way up the three steps and knocked lightly on the door. When there was no answer, I jiggled the doorknob causing the door to swing open. I looked back over my shoulder, searching for Embry and waved when I saw a flash of gray fur.

"Paul?" I called as I closed the door behind me, going into the living room. The house was gorgeous, full of reds and browns. There was a carved wooden table in front of the black leather couch covered with red and white pillows. A fireplace stood against the far wall in the corner, a big flat screen above. There were a few dirty dishes loitering the table and floor. accompanied by a couple shirts. The hardwood floor beneath my feet shone a dark brown, complementing the room. "Paul?" I called again, wandering into another room. The kitchen was done in black and a russet color. The sink stood alone in the middle of the room surrounded by a black specked marble.

I had never expected Paul's home to look anything like this. It was masculine yet also homey. I actually loved it. I took another turn and was in the dinning room. There was a quite large wood carved table in the center of the room that took up most of the space, alined by matching chairs. The walls were a beige, a window on the back wall that showed the pine trees behind the house, the sky a dark gray.

A small bathroom was down a hallway beside the front door for guests and down the hall was a large staircase. I didn't climb up them just yet, feeling intrusive already.

"Paul?" I called out for the third time, frustrated he wasn't answering. I went back to the living room, looking out the large window beside the fireplace. I then saw Paul and Sam outside talking.

I stood on the porch watching them, not knowing if I should interrupt. When I was close enough to hear them talking, I stood and waited to be noticed, my fingers tying together.

"You need to find out why she's here," Sam ordered Paul.

Paul stood defensively, his arms crossed over his chest. "I'm not going to ask her if it hurts her."

"Paul, we have to know why she wants-" his sentence trailed off as he saw me behind them, watching. He smiled slightly at me, "Bella."

Paul turned around. "Bella? What the hell are you doing here? They were supposed to be watching you!"

"Embry brought me over. I wanted to come see you; get out of the house for a while."

"He wasn't supposed to let you unless he talked to me," anger seeped into his voice.

"Paul, I have free will. I could have come here if I wanted even without Embry's permission."

Paul ran a hand down his face. "It's for your safety!"

"Paul, I can chose to do what I want, when I want! You don't control me!"

Sam cleared his throat. "I'm going to go check up on the boys. I'll see you later Paul. Nice seeing you Bella," he said patting Paul on the shoulder then waved at me. I waved back slightly. "Keep your anger under control," he warned Paul before dashing into the woods.

"I never said I controlled you," Paul said, turning back to me.

I went down to stand in front of him. "You practically did Paul! You act like you can just tell me what to do and I'll listen like a dog."

"You always listened to Jacob. I was just trying to act more like him since you can't fathom being without him."

His words tore open all the old wounds, almost knocking me to my knees.

"What is your problem?" I screamed. "I am so sorry that I can't get over Jacob, but I'm trying! Give me some damn credit!"

Paul shook with anger. "Imagine the roles in reverse. How would you feel if I kept making references to a past lover?"

"You don't have to! All your memories are crawling around town, their smug smiles towards me as I walk past them! I imagine your body writhing with almost ever single fucking girl that I see Paul! So I may not be able to get over a guy, but at least I haven't been with the whole town!"

"Watch it Bella," he warned.

"I didn't ask for this!" I screamed at him, sobs racking my body. "I never asked to fall in love with Edward, Jacob, or even you! I don't want any of it anymore! I just want to go back to that girl who first moved to Forks. The girl that had no clue any of this stuff actually existed. I wish it didn't exist." After the words were said, she regretted them immediately.

Hurt and anger were a hard mask on Paul's face. "If that's how you feel Bella." He turned to leave, his frame shaking.

"Wait, Paul! I'm sorry. I didn't mean that," I called after him.

Paul turned around, his hands fisted on either side of his body. "Bella, I have done every damn thing I possibly could have to make this easy on you! I've bent over backwards trying to please you! I'm fucking through with this bullshit! You want me to not exist, then fine that's what you'll get. Just fucking do whatever the hell pleases you Swan, never stopped you before." This was the first time Paul had exploded in front of me. To be quite honest it scared the hell out of me. My lower lip quivered, but anger bubbled to the surface faster than the tears. "Fuck you Paul Lahote."

He smirked at me, then turned around again, leaving me in the dust. He may have been done talking but I sure as hell wasn't. My temper was getting the best of me as I ran after him, shoving him once I got close enough to touch his back. The effort was wasted as my strength had absolutely no effect to him whatsoever.

He stopped and stood completely still as I got in front of him.

"Fight back Paul!" I yelled. "This is one of the things you're known best for. You're fights. Show me! Come on Paul, fight back! " I pushed and hit against his chest as cold tears trickled down my face. I was so angry that I didn't even worry about the bruises that would coat my arms.

Paul stood there completely still until my arms began to become weak, my energy wavering. Once I was just barely hitting him, he grabbed my wrists in one of his big hands. "Are you done now?" he asked pissed off.

I looked up at him and nodded slightly feeling like a child.

"Good," he said as he placed my arms on either side of me. "I'm going to go inside and calm down before I transform and accidentally hurt you."

His eyes searched mine as he said this, then after a few seconds, I watched as he walked away from me to his house, his body still a blur as he shook.

I didn't move for what seemed like forever. Darkness started to settle in around me. I knew I shouldn't be out here when I couldn't see, so I made my way over to the front door of Paul's. I didn't bother knocking since I knew I was welcome, argument or not. I slowly found my way to the living room spotting the couch. I went to sit down, waiting for Paul who was in the shower. I could hear the water running through the pipes throughout the house.

I sat down on the black leather. Soon the water turned off, but no one came down the stairs. I waited until my eyelids started to droop, my muscles slackening. My breathing softened, slowed into a steady rhythm just as my head hit the armrest, I was asleep.

"Bella," I heard a husky voice whisper. "Bella, honey, wake up."

My eyelids pinched together tightly in annoyance, but then flickered, adjusting to the light. "What?" I asked, sleep laced in my voice.

"We need to get you home. Charlie'll kick my ass if he finds out you're over here."

I then started to panic. "What time is it?" I asked.

"A little past eleven."

"Shit," I muttered, shooting up. I wobbled slightly with a head rush, but before I could fall, Paul balanced me.

"Come on, I'll drive you home."

"No, I'll take myself. You don't exist remember?" I threw it back at him, a small tint of anger lingering through me.

"Fine," he sighed, getting up off the floor. He started to head for the stairs before he threw his hands on his head, then running them down his face. He turned back around, walked back to me and knelt down to where he had just been. He looked at me, his eyes shining. "Can we not fight about this anymore Bella? Please?" he asked miserable.

I sighed and reached a hand out to cup his face. "I'm sorry too. It's just," she paused, "_overwhelming_."

Paul nodded in understanding. "I get that Bells. Really I do. You need to understand though that it's not a walk through the park for me either. It's been rough for the both of us. Just remember that I am trying to ease you into this, and I know sometimes I can be overbearing, but it's only because I care about you so much."

I leaned forward slowly, our fingers intertwined. It was incredible how quickly our fights began and ended, just a look could dissolve any tension between the us.

When Paul pulled into the driveway I could see Charlie standing at the window, peeping his head out of the curtain, a scowl plastered on his face. I sighed, knowing a lecture was waiting for me when I went inside.

Paul got out of the truck and came around to my side, opening the door for me. "Thanks," I said as I hopped out, holding onto his hand.

"Should I walk you to the door? Try to talk to Charlie?" he asked, brushing back a strand of my hair, tucking it behind my ear.

I leaned into his hand and shook my head slightly. "No, I don't think that's the best idea. I better handle this on my own."

Paul put his other hand up to my face, encasing me in his warmth. "I take it you're already in trouble?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Well then, there's no point of keeping us from this," he said right before his lips met mine, molding into me. My hands went to his chest, fisting his shirt. Once I had run out of breath, I pulled away, resting our foreheads together.

"I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" I said a little exasperated.

He nodded, "Tomorrow."

I gave him one last quick peck before going up the stairs to the front door. Before I had the chance to open it, Charlie had yanked it from my grasp. His eyes were dark, his arms across his chest, his posture slightly straighter, he seemed taller. "Where the hell have you been Bella?" he asked roughly.

He moved to the side, allowing me just enough space to wedge between him and the doorframe. "Sorry Dad, I fell asleep over at Paul's."

"That's a sorry ass excuse Bells. You know he's trouble. You could do so much better than Paul Lahote. That boy is all kinds of trouble."

My jaw clenched tight. "You know Dad, you have never been supportive of any relationship I've ever had except with Jake. That has to stop. I'm tired of it."

Charlie was slightly taken aback by my small outburst. I had never talked to either of my parents like that in my whole life. "That Cullen boy was too old for you, and look what he did to you!"

"It was a bad breakup, Dad. A heartbreak. I got over it eventually, and Edward Cullen was the same age as me Dad."

"Well, you know I never liked Paul. You've heard the town stories about that kid!" He gripped to anything he was capable of throwing at me, hoping to get me to leave Paul.

"Well, Dad, that's just too bad because I want to be with him and you're just going to have to get over this resentment you have toward him."

"Bella, why him?" he asked sadly as I moved closer to the stairs leading to my room, yanking my jacket from my arms. I turned back to Charlie, an impatient look upon my face. "Dad, I'm sorry you don't like him but," I paused with a smile and a shake of my head, "he makes me happy. We may get into fights sometimes, but I think he could be the start of something new. He's really making an effort."

Charlie huffed, not saying another word as he turned on his heel, going back to his seat on the sofa, the ball game turned back on. I frowned at how upset he was, but headed up the stairs, not trying to fix the situation.


	9. Chapter 9

Days passed without a word from Paul. My mood was starting to fall back into familiar patterns of depression. I knew then that I would have to make the next move. I would have to go out of my comfort zone and put myself out there again, willing for Paul to take me, and that was exactly what I was going to do, but this time I would keep my anger in check.

I pushed my foot down on the gas pedal, going just above fifty, as fast as my truck would go in the pouring rain. Thunder pealed through the sky, lighting crashing down around me as I crossed the border to the reserve. I raced down to Paul's house, skidding around the twists and curves.

His house finally was in front of me when I slammed on my brakes. I could see Paul look out the window directly at me. I threw open my door, pulled my keys out of the ignition. I jumped down into the mud, running to the front steps, not caring if I tripped or not. The front door opened to a confused Paul. "Bella-"

I didn't give him time to speak, I ran up the steps and put my lips to his, my fingers curling into his hair. I pulled him as close as I could, tears forming in my eyes. I hadn't realized how much I had missed him.

I pushed him back into the house, my hands leaving his head and going under his shirt. I wanted him. I wanted all of him.

I felt his hands push me back, disconnecting us. "Bella," he sighed, his eyes going to the room behind us where someone cleared their throat.

Slowly, I turned around, seeing Sam, Emily, Embry, and Quil starring at us. "Hey Bella," Embry said with a smirk. "Wanna come give me a proper hello?" he joked.

Paul shot him a warning glare. "Watch it Call."

Embry smirked, his eyebrows jiggled suggestively at me causing my cheeks to become a darker red.

"All right. I think everyone needs to leave. Now."

Sam, Emily, and Quil stood while Embry lounged back in his seat, putting his arms behind his head. He yawned, his mouth extending as much as humanly possible. "Nah, I think I'll hang around a while longer."

"Embry," Sam warned.

"What? Paul invited us over. I think we have the right to watch what happens!"

Paul took a few steps toward Embry, his expression going dark. "Get outta here before I kick your ass."

Embry stuck his tongue out at him, but jumped to his feet. "Fine," he grumbled, then to me said, "See you later Belly Button."

I rolled my eyes at the nickname, but smiled despite myself. "Bye Embry."

The group then filed out of the house, Emily laughing as the boys whopped and howled at Paul. When no noise was heard from them Paul turned to me, a smug look on his face, a dopey smile plastered there. "Want to pick up where we left off?" he asked with a teasing tone.

I wanted to back off, to tell him I wasn't ready, but I knew I couldn't keep him waiting forever. That would be wrong, selfish, and cruel. I had to push my feelings aside for two men that would never be entering my life ever again, and open myself to someone who was willing to welcome me into his life with open arms, all my scars included.

I didn't even bother responding to his sarcastic question. I threw myself at him, my arms locking behind his neck, my lips pressed against his. Paul pushed the door closed with his foot, picking me up, my legs wrapping around his waist.

"Wait," Paul panted, pulling away from me, "wait."

"What is it?" I asked innocently.

He released me, his eyes falling to the floor, his feet shuffling backwards. "I think we should talk before things go any further."

I sighed as well, going to the sofa and plopping down, watching as Paul sat across from me his eyes now focused on the outside beyond the window. "Paul, I know you have to be. . ." I paused searching for the right word, "scared. Scared that I'll want you now but leave you when a memory finds a way to slither into my head." I stopped, hands clasped together, my knuckles turning white. I stood, going to him, kneeling before him. "But I won't let that happen. I promise to you that I will try my best. I will give you my best, and leave my past in the past. I want you, I want all of you and I don't know how long I've been denying that. Just please, give me a chance to show you that I can forget about Edward and that I can forget about Jacob. Let me learn to love you."

Paul's eyes then shifted to my face, a small smile on his face. "And you're sure you're ready for this?" he asked.

I nodded. "I want this."

His head then tilted to one side, his eyes focused on my lips. I was too eager to wait, I pushed myself toward him, our mouths colliding.

I had been denying myself this glorious warmth, love, for so long and now that I was welcoming it with open arms, I could finally enjoy full heartedly Paul's touch, his caress, his lips against mine, and most of all the over powering yearning I had for him.

Our relationship progressed, spiraling into cold nights, bonfires, lazy days, and happy memories. Jacob and Edward's memory was on a back burner in the furthest part of my mind, the rest of my attention completely lost in Paul. He took care of me when I was sick, he took care of me, loved me.

Graduation had come and past and with it I had quit my job and the Newton's sport store and spent all my time with Paul and the pack. Victoria had disappeared, the pack not having seen her in weeks, of course precautions were taken, at least one pack member stayed with me at all times. Charlie had started to get more annoyed with my decisions, waiting for the fallout and for the fog to clear, wanting nothing more than my relationship with Paul to die out.

"Paul's here," Charlie grumbled from the door as I put his dinner in the microwave.

"I'll be there in a second," I told him. I ran to the closet, grabbed a coat, and quickly threw it on. I then grabbed some cash from my messenger bag before heading out the door.

"Be back before ten," Charlie called out to me.

"Got it Dad!" I replied, my back to him, but a hand up in the air in acknowledgement.

Paul grinned once he saw me, his white tank top hugging his muscles and his black leather jacket made him look dangerous. I smiled over at him, my legs picking up pace, jogging to him. "Hey," I greeted him as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Hi," he said, his forehead resting against mine. His lips touched the tip of my nose, a sweet gesture.

I pecked him on the lips then pulled away, tying my hair back in a ponytail. "Ready?"

"Of course. What are we doing today?" I asked as I climbed into his 1990 Corvette that he absolutely adored.

"Cliff diving with the pack."

_"Cliff diving?"_ I shrieked in terror as he pulled out of the driveway and peeled down the road.

He chuckled. "It's fun. You of course won't be jumping. Just the guys and I. I can drop you off at Emily's if you want, we'll be going there to eat afterward. You could go and spend some time with her."

Bella grabbed the one hand he wasn't using to steer the car and intertwined her fingers with his. "I love Emily, but I'll spend some time with you today."

Paul smiled over at her, squeezing her fingers. They arrived last at the top of the cliff, most of the pack was already soaking wet.

"Hey look Belly Button's here!" Embry said running up to meet us. He was dripping wet, water practically pooled around him.

I clung slightly to Paul, knowing these boys would do anything to annoy me, for example getting my clothes soaking wet. "No Embry. Go away," I tried to tell him with a straight face, but somehow a smile spread across my face and a small laugh fell from my lips. He advanced me, his arms outstretched. "I'm serious. Don't!"

Embry then grabbed me around my waist, lifted me up off the ground, and spun me around. "Put me down," I laughed, smacking his shoulders. "Embry!" I shrieked.

He eventually put me back on the rocky ground, my shirt practically now see-through. "Great. Thanks a lot Em," I said sarcastically as Paul came back over to my side, pulling off his shirt.

"Here babe," Paul said, giving me his shirt. "Put this on."

I took the shirt, glaring angrily at Embry. "Love you sweetheart," Embry chuckled.

Quil then bounded over, shaking his head close to my face, sending hundreds of droplets on to my face. Both he and Embry laughed hysterically. "Leave Bella alone," Sam chuckled pushing Jared off the edge, falling to the water below.

Forgetting about all the joking, I screamed, running over to Sam. "What is the matter with you?" I quickly looked over the edge, trying to find Jared.

"Bella, it's cliff diving, remember?" Paul comforted me. His one hand grabbed my shoulder, pulling me back slightly, not liking how close to the edge I was.

"He pushed him off!" I yelled.

"It's okay, Bella. We're practically indestructible, Jared is completely fine. Look," he pointed over to a part of the water, not too far from shore. There was Jared whooping and hollering with excitement.

I moved back into Paul's chest. "Oh, okay," I said tentatively.

"Bells, go ahead and change into my shirt. I don't want you catching a cold," Paul said when were a few feet from the boys who were willingly just jumping off the cliff for the hell of it. I looked over his shoulder at the guys. "They won't look, I swear."

I turned my back to him as I shrugged off my damp jacket, then lifted my shirt over my head, leaving me standing in only my black bra. "Oo la la," Embry whistled from behind me. "Look at Miss Bella."

My arms immediately went around my chest in embarrassment. "Paul!" I yelled.

I could feel Paul's body stiffen behind me. "Call, better watch yourself."

Embry howled in laughter, but didn't say another word as I slipped Paul's shirt over my head. As I turned back around, I blushed deeply but stuck my tongue out at him.

Embry laughed in amusement as Paul murmured in my ear, "Very mature."

I pushed his shoulder playfully. "Go and jump off the cliff."

After each boy had jumped at least ten times, Embry pulled me off the rock I had become comfortable on, and dragged me to the edge. "Wanna jump?" he asked.

I pulled away immediately. "No way."

"Come on! It's fun," he encouraged.

"You're insane," I replied.

Jared chuckled as he passed us, doing a cannon ball. "It's not as bad as you'd think. It's actually a great rush."

"Embry what the hell are you doing?" Paul yelled up at us as he looked up from the shore.

Embry waved him off, and turned back to me. "Come on Bells. Have a little fun. Let loose!"

"A rush, huh?" I asked as I remembered the days I had searched for the little rushes of energy to make Edward appear in my mind.

"It's great," he encouraged.

I glanced over the edge. "I won't die?"

He laughed. "Absolutely not. I'll even jump with you," he offered.

He extended his hand. I knew I was with Paul now and I was happy, but would it be so wrong to hear Edward again? To see his face in my memory just one last time?

I clamped my hand over his tightly. "Just once," I told him.

_Bella_, the musical notes reached my ear, the gold eyes fluttering in my memory. _Don't do this._

"Embry what the hell do you think you're doing?" Paul yelled infuriated, his voice sounded closer than the last time. I glanced behind us in the trees looking for him.

"One," Embry counted.

_Bella let go of Embry's hand and go back to the rock. Please don't do this._

"Bella! Don't jump!" Paul shouted.

"Two."

_For me, _he begged.

"Bella!" Paul exclaimed advancing on us.

"Three."

We were then plummeting toward the rocky grey water, my body flailing in the sharp air that hit my body as I fell. Embry on the other hand whooped and screamed as we fell, enjoying every second of it. As we hit the water, it felt as if needles were being put into every inch of my body, sharp pangs of pain were felt throughout my whole being, but the rush on the way down was much better than what Jake's motorcycles could ever provide.

My hand lost contact with Embry, causing me to drift along with the waves. I kicked and thrust my feet and arms around, trying frantically to find my way through the dark waters.

I lost all senses, not knowing which way was up and which way was down. My eyes flickered rapidly, trying to see through the murky water. My breath was escaping from my lips, my lungs started to tighten. I flailed about in the water, desperate to get any sort of relief.

_Swim Bella! Get your head back above the water and live, do you hear me? _Jake's voice yelled at me.

Jacob.

_I can't Jake. I can't._

_Dammit Bella! Get your ass up there! Swim! _

_Push yourself upwards, Bella. You can do this, _Edward encouraged.

I did as they said, pushing myself up, clawing at the water. My air supply was running low, I could feel myself start to shut down, but I continued to search for air. Finally my hand was above water, I wasn't going to die. I broke the surface of the water, taking in a big gulp of air. I smiled as I realized I had done it. I had jumped off the cliff and survived.

"Oh thank God," Paul exclaimed as he swam over to me, pulling me into his arms and taking me to shore.

"I did it Paul!" I exclaimed excitedly, proud that I had actually done something remotely dangerous.

"You almost killed yourself Bella," he scolded clearly angry.

"I'm fine, Paul," I told him. "It was such a rush!"

Paul then pulled us onto the sand, a pale looking Embry ran up to us. "You're okay! Bella, I am so sorry. I was being stupid. I never should have let you jump that far up."

"She shouldn't be jumping at all," Paul hissed.

"Guys, I am fine!"

"Bella do you realize how stupid that was? How reckless and dangerous that was? You could have died!" Paul yelled.

"Paul do I look hurt? No, because I'm not. Really I'm fine."

"You're never cliff diving again, clear?"

"Okay, fine," I told him, "but I'm fine."

He pulled me into his arms. "I think we'll skip Emily's tonight, but before I take you home I'm gonna kick Call's ass."

"Leave Embry alone. He was only doing what he thought would be fun. Just trying to loosen me up is all."

Paul growled, but didn't say another word to Embry as I put my hand on his chest and kissed his cheek. "You're shivering. We should get you home and into a change of clothes."

I nodded, leaning into his hold. "Alright."

We told the pack a quick goodbye and hurried into Paul's car, anxious to get the heat on. As we drove down the road, almost to the treaty line, when I looked over at Paul. His hair was slightly in his eyes, his eyes focused on the road, his muscles relaxed. I slowly sat on my knees, allowing myself more room to move. I then kissed his jaw tenderly, sweetly.

Paul chuckled, "What are you doing?"

"Let's go back to your place. I'm not ready to go home," I told him, my one arm going around his shoulders, my teeth grazing his earlobe.

"What?"

"I'm not ready to go home. Let's go to your place."

"Where did this come from?" he asked intrigued.

I smirked, "I think we're ready."

I felt his body heat up even more than his outrageous temperature. "As in _ready_ ready?"

I nodded and bit my lip, "Mmhmm." My lips were then at his jaw line again kissing up and down his neck.

"Are you sure Bella?"

"Like I said, let's go back to your place."

*lemon*

He slammed me up against the wall closest to the living room, our mouths caught up in each other. My legs were wrapped tightly around his waist, his hands on my waist. My lips were on his neck, his lips were on the exposed part of my chest. My hands were entangled in his hair, his teeth grazed my skin raising goosebumps all across my skin.

My knees rubbed against his sides, lifting his shirt up slightly. I ran my hands down his chest and moved them to the gathered fabric, immediately pulling it up and over his head.

I pulled away slightly to take in his chiseled chest. His muscles were very defined, his abs a work of art. I bit my lip in amazement.

"Like what you see?" he asked amused.

My eyes shifted to his. "Absolutely."

He then looked down at the bottom of his damp shirt that I still wore. "This has got to come off," he told me, "because we don't want you catching a cold."

"Of course not," I murmured.

The shirt was off faster than humanly possible. I giggled, my hands cupping either side of his face, kissing him gently. He pulled back, his eyes traveling down my exposed torso, all except my skimpy black lace bra that showed more skin than necessary. Paul took one of his thumbs and ran it over one of the tops of my breasts. His hands then slowly snaked around my back to the small clasp below my shoulder blades.

The fabric fell away completely, revealing my chest to him for the first time. He inhaled sharply, his body becoming slightly rigid. Immediate rejection fled through me, my hands going up to cover myself, a permanent blush sat upon my cheeks. Paul's hands rested upon mine, pulling them away from my skin. "Bella you are absolutely beautiful," he said wholeheartedly. My eyes were on the floor below us, not wanting to see his face. "Bella look at me." I took a glance at him, his eyes completely transfixed. "Isabella, you are the most gorgeous creature to have ever walked this earth. You are completely and utterly perfect."

His mouth was then on mine, devouring me in his warmth. When I escaped for breath, he didn't give a second of hesitation to take a breast in his mouth, sucking lightly. I moaned deeply, my hips thrusting forward at the sensation of it. His hand cupped the other, needing and massaging it roughly. My hands buried themselves in his hair, pulling.

"I'm going to take you upstairs, and you might never come back down," Paul warned with a slight smirk against my skin.

"I think that's a risk I am more than willing to take," I replied, my heels digging into his back.

My back hit the bed, all his weight falling on top of me. Our pants had been lost on the stairs along with my small thong. Paul laid between my legs, our hips aligned, our bodies entangled. I needed him, I wanted him, now.

"Paul," I whined, feeling the throb between my thighs. "Please."

Paul made no faster effort to make his way down my body, his hot open mouths kisses trailing down my navel. His eyes bore into mine as his trail began to come back toward my chest.

"Paul," I whined. "I need you."

Then unexpectedly his thumb was circling the small bud of nerves that ached to be touched, two other fingers pumped into me roughly. My mouth dropped, a loud moan echoing through the room. As my mouth opened, Paul covered it with his own, his tongue melding with mine. My hands fisted the sheets, my legs squeezing against Paul's sides, my heels digging into the bed. A tightening started in the pit of my stomach, but all too soon the feeling was gone, his fingers had disappeared.

My eyes flew open. "What're you-"

I was cut off when he thrust into me, breaking my barrier. "I know. I'm sorry, sweetheart. It'll hurt, but I promise it'll feel better."

"It's fine," I choked out, a single tear falling from my eye.

He pulled out and thrust back in slowly. My arms locked around him, my nails dug into his back. "Better?" he asked. I nodded. Soon a pattern was formed, creating the most elicit sensations.

After he and I both had reached our high, he collapsed on the bed beside me, both our chests heaving. I rolled onto my side, my eyes memorizing his every move. My hand lay on his burning chest, his on my hip. His eyes closed slightly, but mine were wide with fascination of him. Tiny sweat beads lay in his hair and on his forehead, his lips a dark pink and slightly swollen. His eyes then closed fully, his breathing becoming even; he had fallen asleep. I curled up in to his side, my leg wrapping around his, my other hand running through his cropped hair.

"I love you," I whispered watching him dream. "I truly love you Paul Lahote." My eyes then shut, leaving the world behind to live with Paul in my dreams.

I awoke laying on my opposite side, Paul's arms wrapped tightly around me, his hot breath hitting against the back of my neck. My fingers intertwined with his as I snuggled further into him, getting as close as humanly possible, I couldn't get enough of him. I started to go slip back into my dreams Until my eyes landed on the window looking out into the dark night.

Hating to break the sweet moment and memorable silence, I jumped up grabbing every piece of clothing off the floor, "Shit!"

Paul jerked awake, lifting up into a sitting position immediately at the absence of my presence beside him. His eyes shifted around the room, searching for any possible impending danger toward me, then realizing I was okay he responded, "Bella?"

"I'm sorry Paul. Go back to sleep," I murmured, jumping into my jeans.

"What's going on?" he asked, ignoring my request as he ran a hand down his face.

"If I don't get home in a matter of minutes Charlie's going to kick my ass."

Paul looked out the window now seeing an ever lasting darkness. "Shit," he muttered the same as I had said not but seconds ago.

"I'm sorry Paul," I said after hooking my bra and throwing my shirt over my head. "I have to go, but I'll see you later okay?" I kissed him lightly on the lips before starting to put on my shoes.

"I'll take you home," Paul said, getting out of bed.

"No, really it's okay," I tried telling him, but he put a hand up and said he'd be more than happy to.

His old car pulled into the gravel drive, Charlie standing on the front porch, his arms across his chest. "Dammit," I hissed, reading the clock on the dashboard, a little after midnight.

Paul put the car into park, both of us jumping out of the car. I immediately started to go toward the house, but Paul grabbed my hand. "One second," he said as I flew around to look at him.

I went back to him, my foot tapping slightly in impatience. "What is it? Charlie's gonna kill me!"

Paul lifted my chin with his index finger, our eyes meeting. He gave me a small sweet kiss before letting me go. "I'll see you tomorrow," he told me. I stared at him for a couple of seconds more before turning to go back to a raging Charlie. "Oh, and Bella," he called before Charlie got his hands on me. "I love you too," he said it only loud enough for my ears to hear.

I blushed and smiled like a fool. "BELLA SWAN GET OVER HERE THIS INSTANT!" Charlie yelled.

I ran over to a red faced Charlie, his chest heaving. "Dad-"

"You leave my daughter alone! Do you hear me? Don't you ever come back around here again! I have every intention of kicking your ass right now so you'd better get out of here before I come over there and knock the-"

"Dad!" I exclaimed.

"You stay out of this Isabella! Get in the house!"

I ignored him, my eyes going from Paul to my father. After seconds of silence Paul apologized for getting me home late then got in his car and sped off.

"I know I'm a little late Dad, but why are you so upset?"

"Get. In. The. House," he ordered fuming. He opened the door, holding it for me. I went inside, shrugging off my jacket, kicking off my shoes. "Did your mother and I mess up somewhere Bells? Did we push you too hard for anything, make you resent us? Is that what's happening?"

"Dad, what are you talking about?"

"I know what you did today," he said angrily. "You could have gotten yourself killed!"

I froze. "What are you talking about?"

"One of my buddies told me they saw you _cliff diving _today! Cliff diving! Are you insane? You will _never_ go out again with Paul. Ever. He is out of your life for good. You've become this whole different person Bella, and I don't really like her to be honest. I miss my old Bells that was committed to school and her job. I miss my daughter."

"I'm still your daughter, Dad. I'm just not as afraid of the world as I used to be before Paul. He's good for me."

"If he was good for you Bella, he wouldn't have let you jump off a damn cliff!"

"I'm tired of everybody telling me who I should be with, who I'm supposed to be, and I'm tired of people making me feel guilty for not wanting it! People need to mind their own damn business and stay the hell out of mine!" I screamed at him.

Charlie huffed at the tone I had taken. "As long as you live under my roof, you will not see him again. End of story."

With that he turned and went back into the living room, turning the game back on. Anger rose in me as I ran up the stairs, slamming my bedroom door. If Charlie wasn't going to let me make my own decisions living with him, then maybe I'd move out on my own.


End file.
